Shark Tank: Cut and paste, Version 2.0

Grok Headline matches for Shark Tank: Cut and paste, Version 2.0

Shark Tank: Who needs it?

Shark Tank: Who needs it? 03/06/2004 01:53 AM
It's the mid-1990s, and this site has two networks. One is an under-construction Ethernet network running Novell NetWare to Windows-based PCs. The other one -- the mainframe network -- is, well, interesting.

Shark Tank: Possible

Shark Tank: Possible 01/17/2004 10:38 PM
It's back in the days of punch cards and paper tape, and the school district where this student pilot fish lives has a minicomputer just for student use.

Shark Tank: Just our way of saying
thanks

Shark Tank: Just our way of saying
thanks 03/06/2004 01:53 AM
This software-based simulator is huge, it's more than a decade old, it's the division's cash cow -- and the project to deliver a new version is on track to miss its February delivery date by about four months.

Shark Tank: It's all the PC he needs

Shark Tank: It's all the PC he needs 09/22/2004 12:32 AM
The company's executive offices are being recarpeted over the weekend, so this IT manager moves all the bigwigs' PCs on Friday, then heads out for a conference. But on Monday, the president isn't happy.

Shark Tank: Sometimes they just don't
want to know

Shark Tank: Sometimes they just don't
want to know 12/03/2003 12:36 AM
It's the early 1980s, and at a big Midwestern bank, this mainframe programmer pilot fish is part of a project that will revolutionize general ledger -- except for a billion-dollar problem.

Shark Tank: Yep, that would do it

Shark Tank: Yep, that would do it 12/19/2004 03:19 PM
This big construction-equipment dealership has locations in several states -- and one IT pilot fish who's responsible for all of them.

Shark Tank: Two-fer

Shark Tank: Two-fer 03/17/2005 02:55 AM
Plant foreman comes to this pilot fish with a challenge: He wants a way to display important operational statistics so machine operators can see them at a glance.

Shark Tank: Ya think?

Shark Tank: Ya think? 03/17/2005 02:55 AM
Pilot fish is on the team deploying a management system for a medical practice. And because some of the users are computerphobic, the team tries to make things as mistakeproof as possible.

Shark Tank: Well, that's one way to do
it

Shark Tank: Well, that's one way to do
it 12/19/2004 03:19 PM
It's the spring of 1999, and this pilot fish has just set up a computer as a time server for the steel mill where he works -- which should make the switch to daylight-saving time a breeze.

Shark Tank: Get it?

Shark Tank: Get it? 08/20/2004 11:15 PM
This university's server center is in a space never intended for that purpose -- dark, moldy, carpeted, with wonky air conditioning. Then management finally agrees to move it to a more appropriate space.

Shark Tank: You're very welcome

Shark Tank: You're very welcome 01/22/2004 02:11 AM
This IT pilot fish, the technical guru at a small company, needs copies: 50 pages, double-sided, collated and stapled. So he loads his originals into the copier and, unfortunately, gets help.

Shark Tank: Aw, would we do that to you?

Shark Tank: Aw, would we do that to you? 03/14/2005 05:10 PM
It's the late 1980s, and new-on-the-job IT pilot fish gets his first important project: Expand the Ethernet backbone into a new office area at this manufacturing company.

Shark Tank: Who is he, again?

Shark Tank: Who is he, again? 11/05/2003 12:43 AM
When it's time for this consultant pilot fish to install the mortgage application he's written for a local bank, he walks into the bank and informs a teller, "I'm the computer guy..."

Shark Tank: If I can get around it, it
must be OK

Shark Tank: If I can get around it, it
must be OK 04/06/2005 02:42 PM
This company's sales system has been modified to block orders from customers with credit problems. But according to a branch sales manager, the credit check doesn't work.

Shark Tank: Don't DO That!

Shark Tank: Don't DO That! 08/06/2004 11:59 PM
It's years ago at this busy circuit-board manufacturing facility, and the new component-insertion machine suddenly starts sticking capacitors and resistors everywhere but where they belong.

Shark Tank: And we certainly can't have
that, can we?

Shark Tank: And we certainly can't have
that, can we? 03/13/2003 10:22 AM
There's a vote coming up at this international association of educators, so the executive director gives the IT manager pilot fish the job of estimating how much it'll cost using paper ballots and scanning equipment.

Shark Tank: Because it's there

Shark Tank: Because it's there 07/09/2004 12:05 AM
This software company is eager to show its investors that it's spending money wisely. So when someone suggests using offshore development, the CTO begins courting offshore vendors.

Shark Tank: Just doing our bit

Shark Tank: Just doing our bit 04/20/2004 11:29 PM
It's the 1970s, and this pilot fish is working at a site in the Far East for a U.S. organization when communications problems set in.

Shark Tank: What's in a Name?

Shark Tank: What's in a Name? 03/28/2005 01:18 PM
State agency's data warehouse project is renamed: It's now officially an "administrative systems reporting database." But why not just call it a data warehouse?

Shark Tank: Thanks for All Your Help

Shark Tank: Thanks for All Your Help 07/31/2004 12:20 AM
Remote server goes down hard, and it appears to be due to overheating. So a tech is dispatched to the remote site to replace the server's fan -- but that's not the problem.

Shark Tank: Just because

Shark Tank: Just because 01/05/2005 01:35 AM
It's the mid-1990s, and this IT pilot fish works in a small support department at a big company where some processes are handled the old-fashioned way: through paperwork and sneakernet.

Shark Tank: Can't be!

Shark Tank: Can't be! 12/19/2004 03:19 PM
It's the late 1980s, and this pilot fish working at a big insurance company is facing the kind of miserable weekend project that only a penny-pinching mainframe shop can provide.

Shark Tank: Just like it says in the ad

Shark Tank: Just like it says in the ad 12/19/2003 11:34 AM
It's the late 1980s, and this pilot fish is working for a government contractor when an order comes in from an Air Force legal office for three cutting-edge, top-of-the-line handheld scanners.

Shark Tank: It's all in how you ask

Shark Tank: It's all in how you ask 06/05/2005 10:55 PM
Sysadmin pilot fish works in a hospital, and he works hard to keep the staff happy -- especially the pharmacists. So when a networked machine that dispenses medications goes off-line, fish knows what to do.

Shark Tank: Sure, we can do that

Shark Tank: Sure, we can do that 03/13/2003 10:22 AM
This assignment is technically pretty straightforward: Write an application to track how long it takes to process each document at the company. But the politics of putting it in place are a little more complicated.

Shark Tank: Spoilsport

Shark Tank: Spoilsport 12/11/2003 12:30 AM
It's annual performance review time for this support pilot fish who works in a remote office. So the support manager calls to give him the news: His work is exceptional, but...

Shark Tank: Probably just looking for
the bug in that loop

Shark Tank: Probably just looking for
the bug in that loop 04/12/2005 01:16 PM
It's 1976, and this pilot fish's program has a bug that bombs and generates a six-inch-thick stack of paper. But when he examines the core dump, fish notices a pattern.

Shark Tank: Just one bad idea after
another

Shark Tank: Just one bad idea after
another 12/12/2003 01:08 AM
This high-powered manager keeps all the information on a client responsible for 50% of the company's revenue on a PC hard disk that dies. Then it's the network manager's turn.

Shark Tank: Professional help

Shark Tank: Professional help 01/03/2004 12:07 AM
College student pilot fish has been the self-taught IT guy for this small business since he was 17. But after he has upgraded, revamped and secured the entire network, the boss decides to bring in professionals.

Shark Tank: Oh yes, they'll notice

Shark Tank: Oh yes, they'll notice 12/24/2003 12:43 AM
A bank's indoor ATM is rebooting every evening at around 9 p.m. -- and now it's up to a technician pilot fish to figure out why.

Shark Tank: The Army way

Shark Tank: The Army way 12/12/2003 01:58 PM
Flashback to the 1980s, and an Army base where computer password security policies are very, very tight -- or at least they're supposed to be.

Shark Tank: See what you started?

Shark Tank: See what you started? 12/28/2004 01:37 AM
Flash back to the early 1990s and two clever techies who notice that all the new computers come with network cards -- and decide to network the office.

Shark Tank: It just doesn't work that
way

Shark Tank: It just doesn't work that
way 07/02/2004 03:34 AM
Flash back to the late 1980s, when this IT pilot fish and a co-worker want to access their office PCs from home. And their boss agrees -- as long as they can do it very cheaply.

Shark Tank: For everything else, there's
an upgrade

Shark Tank: For everything else, there's
an upgrade 12/31/2003 12:25 AM
This direct-marketing company's sales VP for the New York region complains that the computers in his office are so slow staff can't get their work done -- and something must be done now!

Shark Tank: Now you know why there was a
job opening

Shark Tank: Now you know why there was a
job opening 06/29/2004 11:54 PM
This mainframe support pilot fish transfers to the corporate data security group. But there doesn't seem to be any past security data about the servers he's supposed to be responsible for.

Shark Tank: Just one kludge after
another

Shark Tank: Just one kludge after
another 12/24/2004 12:47 PM
This company has some really kludgy processes for generating some operationally vital reports, but they work -- until the reports get just a little too big.

Shark Tank: Boom!

Shark Tank: Boom! 12/22/2004 01:18 AM
It's the late 1980s, and this support pilot fish is in the Air Force and working the graveyard shift when he gets a 2 a.m. call from a high-priority user who says his terminal just blew up.

Shark Tank: The Navy way

Shark Tank: The Navy way 11/06/2003 12:47 AM
When his ship pulls into Jamaica for a two-day port call, this Navy technician pilot fish is looking forward to going ashore. And he figures he will -- as soon as his shift is over.

Shark Tank: Hey, Whatever Works

Shark Tank: Hey, Whatever Works 09/24/2004 11:29 PM
Users complain that data they enter into a major application mysteriously disappears, but programmer pilot fish can't find the problem. So he adds an auditing system to record what data is added and when.
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Shark Tank: Cut and paste, Version 2.0

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