Shark Tank: A little too impressive

Grok Headline matches for Shark Tank: A little too impressive

Shark Tank: Don't DO That!

Shark Tank: Don't DO That! 08/06/2004 11:59 PM
It's years ago at this busy circuit-board manufacturing facility, and the new component-insertion machine suddenly starts sticking capacitors and resistors everywhere but where they belong.

Shark Tank: You're very welcome

Shark Tank: You're very welcome 01/22/2004 02:11 AM
This IT pilot fish, the technical guru at a small company, needs copies: 50 pages, double-sided, collated and stapled. So he loads his originals into the copier and, unfortunately, gets help.

Shark Tank: Who is he, again?

Shark Tank: Who is he, again? 11/05/2003 12:43 AM
When it's time for this consultant pilot fish to install the mortgage application he's written for a local bank, he walks into the bank and informs a teller, "I'm the computer guy..."

Shark Tank: Who needs it?

Shark Tank: Who needs it? 03/06/2004 01:53 AM
It's the mid-1990s, and this site has two networks. One is an under-construction Ethernet network running Novell NetWare to Windows-based PCs. The other one -- the mainframe network -- is, well, interesting.

Shark Tank: Just doing our bit

Shark Tank: Just doing our bit 04/20/2004 11:29 PM
It's the 1970s, and this pilot fish is working at a site in the Far East for a U.S. organization when communications problems set in.

Shark Tank: Just our way of saying
thanks

Shark Tank: Just our way of saying
thanks 03/06/2004 01:53 AM
This software-based simulator is huge, it's more than a decade old, it's the division's cash cow -- and the project to deliver a new version is on track to miss its February delivery date by about four months.

Shark Tank: What's in a Name?

Shark Tank: What's in a Name? 03/28/2005 01:18 PM
State agency's data warehouse project is renamed: It's now officially an "administrative systems reporting database." But why not just call it a data warehouse?

Shark Tank: Get it?

Shark Tank: Get it? 08/20/2004 11:15 PM
This university's server center is in a space never intended for that purpose -- dark, moldy, carpeted, with wonky air conditioning. Then management finally agrees to move it to a more appropriate space.

Shark Tank: If I can get around it, it
must be OK

Shark Tank: If I can get around it, it
must be OK 04/06/2005 02:42 PM
This company's sales system has been modified to block orders from customers with credit problems. But according to a branch sales manager, the credit check doesn't work.

Shark Tank: Yep, that would do it

Shark Tank: Yep, that would do it 12/19/2004 03:19 PM
This big construction-equipment dealership has locations in several states -- and one IT pilot fish who's responsible for all of them.

Shark Tank: Possible

Shark Tank: Possible 01/17/2004 10:38 PM
It's back in the days of punch cards and paper tape, and the school district where this student pilot fish lives has a minicomputer just for student use.

Shark Tank: Just like it says in the ad

Shark Tank: Just like it says in the ad 12/19/2003 11:34 AM
It's the late 1980s, and this pilot fish is working for a government contractor when an order comes in from an Air Force legal office for three cutting-edge, top-of-the-line handheld scanners.

Shark Tank: Can't be!

Shark Tank: Can't be! 12/19/2004 03:19 PM
It's the late 1980s, and this pilot fish working at a big insurance company is facing the kind of miserable weekend project that only a penny-pinching mainframe shop can provide.

Shark Tank: Because it's there

Shark Tank: Because it's there 07/09/2004 12:05 AM
This software company is eager to show its investors that it's spending money wisely. So when someone suggests using offshore development, the CTO begins courting offshore vendors.

Shark Tank: Just because

Shark Tank: Just because 01/05/2005 01:35 AM
It's the mid-1990s, and this IT pilot fish works in a small support department at a big company where some processes are handled the old-fashioned way: through paperwork and sneakernet.

Shark Tank: Thanks for All Your Help

Shark Tank: Thanks for All Your Help 07/31/2004 12:20 AM
Remote server goes down hard, and it appears to be due to overheating. So a tech is dispatched to the remote site to replace the server's fan -- but that's not the problem.

Shark Tank: Sometimes they just don't
want to know

Shark Tank: Sometimes they just don't
want to know 12/03/2003 12:36 AM
It's the early 1980s, and at a big Midwestern bank, this mainframe programmer pilot fish is part of a project that will revolutionize general ledger -- except for a billion-dollar problem.

Shark Tank: Well, that's one way to do
it

Shark Tank: Well, that's one way to do
it 12/19/2004 03:19 PM
It's the spring of 1999, and this pilot fish has just set up a computer as a time server for the steel mill where he works -- which should make the switch to daylight-saving time a breeze.

Shark Tank: It's all in how you ask

Shark Tank: It's all in how you ask 06/05/2005 10:55 PM
Sysadmin pilot fish works in a hospital, and he works hard to keep the staff happy -- especially the pharmacists. So when a networked machine that dispenses medications goes off-line, fish knows what to do.

Shark Tank: It's all the PC he needs

Shark Tank: It's all the PC he needs 09/22/2004 12:32 AM
The company's executive offices are being recarpeted over the weekend, so this IT manager moves all the bigwigs' PCs on Friday, then heads out for a conference. But on Monday, the president isn't happy.

Shark Tank: Two-fer

Shark Tank: Two-fer 03/17/2005 02:55 AM
Plant foreman comes to this pilot fish with a challenge: He wants a way to display important operational statistics so machine operators can see them at a glance.

Shark Tank: Aw, would we do that to you?

Shark Tank: Aw, would we do that to you? 03/14/2005 05:10 PM
It's the late 1980s, and new-on-the-job IT pilot fish gets his first important project: Expand the Ethernet backbone into a new office area at this manufacturing company.

Shark Tank: And we certainly can't have
that, can we?

Shark Tank: And we certainly can't have
that, can we? 03/13/2003 10:22 AM
There's a vote coming up at this international association of educators, so the executive director gives the IT manager pilot fish the job of estimating how much it'll cost using paper ballots and scanning equipment.

Shark Tank: Sure, we can do that

Shark Tank: Sure, we can do that 03/13/2003 10:22 AM
This assignment is technically pretty straightforward: Write an application to track how long it takes to process each document at the company. But the politics of putting it in place are a little more complicated.

Shark Tank: Ya think?

Shark Tank: Ya think? 03/17/2005 02:55 AM
Pilot fish is on the team deploying a management system for a medical practice. And because some of the users are computerphobic, the team tries to make things as mistakeproof as possible.

Shark Tank: But such a deal!

Shark Tank: But such a deal! 04/30/2004 11:21 PM
This developer pilot fish needs to make sure the communication software he's working on will function with most commonly used modems -- and there's really only one way to do it.

Shark Tank: Probably just looking for
the bug in that loop

Shark Tank: Probably just looking for
the bug in that loop 04/12/2005 01:16 PM
It's 1976, and this pilot fish's program has a bug that bombs and generates a six-inch-thick stack of paper. But when he examines the core dump, fish notices a pattern.

Shark Tank: They don't really care; they
just want help

Shark Tank: They don't really care; they
just want help 04/29/2004 11:29 PM
For this new pilot fish on the help desk, troubleshooting over the phone is second nature. So when a a panicky user calls believing he's destroyed his computer and lost all his files, fish doesn't miss a beat.

Shark Tank: Through obscurity -- and
beyond!

Shark Tank: Through obscurity -- and
beyond! 01/07/2004 05:18 PM
Security is tight at this managed service provider's facility. So when a key server suddenly needs a hard reboot on New Year's Eve, it's plenty secure -- so secure that no one on-site can get access to it.

Shark Tank: The best one really is
living well

Shark Tank: The best one really is
living well 02/01/2005 09:06 PM
When this data analyst pilot fish is fired a week after a big fight with his boss, he's furious -- and not just because the boss was wrong about the technical issue they were fighting over.

Shark Tank: Now that you mention it

Shark Tank: Now that you mention it 04/08/2005 08:27 PM
Computerworld Apr 9 2005 12:44AM GMT

Shark Tank: It just doesn't work that
way

Shark Tank: It just doesn't work that
way 07/02/2004 03:34 AM
Flash back to the late 1980s, when this IT pilot fish and a co-worker want to access their office PCs from home. And their boss agrees -- as long as they can do it very cheaply.

Shark Tank: Professional

Shark Tank: Professional 02/10/2004 02:52 AM
It's the early 1990s, and this pilot fish oversees the LAN servers at this big retailer's distribution center. But he's not allowed to replace any of the hardware -- that's outsourced to professionals.

Shark Tank: Wired

Shark Tank: Wired 12/30/2004 12:27 AM
This pilot fish's boss wants network access in one of the company's conference rooms so he can use his laptop during meetings. OK, fish says, how about a wireless connection?

Shark Tank: That's Just Wrong

Shark Tank: That's Just Wrong 04/18/2005 08:36 AM
Quality department employee has been on the job for several months when she calls IT because she can't log onto the central manufacturing system. But with a user ID based on her name, what could be wrong?

Shark Tank: Is there an echo in here?

Shark Tank: Is there an echo in here? 01/10/2004 01:37 AM
This pilot fish works at a small company that relies heavily on e-mail for communications with managers, district managers and regional managers. And that, it turns out, is a problem.

Shark Tank: Let me repeat that

Shark Tank: Let me repeat that 06/05/2005 10:55 PM
This retailer's director in charge of stores decides that every time a store employee gets an e-mail, a copy should automatically be sent to the employee's supervisor.

Shark Tank: Now you know why there was a
job opening

Shark Tank: Now you know why there was a
job opening 06/29/2004 11:54 PM
This mainframe support pilot fish transfers to the corporate data security group. But there doesn't seem to be any past security data about the servers he's supposed to be responsible for.

Shark Tank: Just one kludge after
another

Shark Tank: Just one kludge after
another 12/24/2004 12:47 PM
This company has some really kludgy processes for generating some operationally vital reports, but they work -- until the reports get just a little too big.
Grok Description matches for Shark Tank: A little too impressive
GrokA matches for Shark Tank: A little too impressive

Shark Tank: A little too impressive

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