Shark Tank: Well, it IS April 1, after all

Grok Headline matches for Shark Tank: Well, it IS April 1, after all

Shark Tank: Possible

Shark Tank: Possible 01/17/2004 10:38 PM
It's back in the days of punch cards and paper tape, and the school district where this student pilot fish lives has a minicomputer just for student use.

Shark Tank: Yep, that would do it

Shark Tank: Yep, that would do it 12/19/2004 03:19 PM
This big construction-equipment dealership has locations in several states -- and one IT pilot fish who's responsible for all of them.

Shark Tank: It's all the PC he needs

Shark Tank: It's all the PC he needs 09/22/2004 12:32 AM
The company's executive offices are being recarpeted over the weekend, so this IT manager moves all the bigwigs' PCs on Friday, then heads out for a conference. But on Monday, the president isn't happy.

Shark Tank: Well, that's one way to do
it

Shark Tank: Well, that's one way to do
it 12/19/2004 03:19 PM
It's the spring of 1999, and this pilot fish has just set up a computer as a time server for the steel mill where he works -- which should make the switch to daylight-saving time a breeze.

Shark Tank: Thanks for All Your Help

Shark Tank: Thanks for All Your Help 07/31/2004 12:20 AM
Remote server goes down hard, and it appears to be due to overheating. So a tech is dispatched to the remote site to replace the server's fan -- but that's not the problem.

Shark Tank: Aw, would we do that to you?

Shark Tank: Aw, would we do that to you? 03/14/2005 05:10 PM
It's the late 1980s, and new-on-the-job IT pilot fish gets his first important project: Expand the Ethernet backbone into a new office area at this manufacturing company.

Shark Tank: Just our way of saying
thanks

Shark Tank: Just our way of saying
thanks 03/06/2004 01:53 AM
This software-based simulator is huge, it's more than a decade old, it's the division's cash cow -- and the project to deliver a new version is on track to miss its February delivery date by about four months.

Shark Tank: Get it?

Shark Tank: Get it? 08/20/2004 11:15 PM
This university's server center is in a space never intended for that purpose -- dark, moldy, carpeted, with wonky air conditioning. Then management finally agrees to move it to a more appropriate space.

Shark Tank: Who needs it?

Shark Tank: Who needs it? 03/06/2004 01:53 AM
It's the mid-1990s, and this site has two networks. One is an under-construction Ethernet network running Novell NetWare to Windows-based PCs. The other one -- the mainframe network -- is, well, interesting.

Shark Tank: Just doing our bit

Shark Tank: Just doing our bit 04/20/2004 11:29 PM
It's the 1970s, and this pilot fish is working at a site in the Far East for a U.S. organization when communications problems set in.

Shark Tank: If I can get around it, it
must be OK

Shark Tank: If I can get around it, it
must be OK 04/06/2005 02:42 PM
This company's sales system has been modified to block orders from customers with credit problems. But according to a branch sales manager, the credit check doesn't work.

Shark Tank: You're very welcome

Shark Tank: You're very welcome 01/22/2004 02:11 AM
This IT pilot fish, the technical guru at a small company, needs copies: 50 pages, double-sided, collated and stapled. So he loads his originals into the copier and, unfortunately, gets help.

Shark Tank: Just because

Shark Tank: Just because 01/05/2005 01:35 AM
It's the mid-1990s, and this IT pilot fish works in a small support department at a big company where some processes are handled the old-fashioned way: through paperwork and sneakernet.

Shark Tank: Don't DO That!

Shark Tank: Don't DO That! 08/06/2004 11:59 PM
It's years ago at this busy circuit-board manufacturing facility, and the new component-insertion machine suddenly starts sticking capacitors and resistors everywhere but where they belong.

Shark Tank: Who is he, again?

Shark Tank: Who is he, again? 11/05/2003 12:43 AM
When it's time for this consultant pilot fish to install the mortgage application he's written for a local bank, he walks into the bank and informs a teller, "I'm the computer guy..."

Shark Tank: Can't be!

Shark Tank: Can't be! 12/19/2004 03:19 PM
It's the late 1980s, and this pilot fish working at a big insurance company is facing the kind of miserable weekend project that only a penny-pinching mainframe shop can provide.

Shark Tank: Sometimes they just don't
want to know

Shark Tank: Sometimes they just don't
want to know 12/03/2003 12:36 AM
It's the early 1980s, and at a big Midwestern bank, this mainframe programmer pilot fish is part of a project that will revolutionize general ledger -- except for a billion-dollar problem.

Shark Tank: Because it's there

Shark Tank: Because it's there 07/09/2004 12:05 AM
This software company is eager to show its investors that it's spending money wisely. So when someone suggests using offshore development, the CTO begins courting offshore vendors.

Shark Tank: What's in a Name?

Shark Tank: What's in a Name? 03/28/2005 01:18 PM
State agency's data warehouse project is renamed: It's now officially an "administrative systems reporting database." But why not just call it a data warehouse?

Shark Tank: Just like it says in the ad

Shark Tank: Just like it says in the ad 12/19/2003 11:34 AM
It's the late 1980s, and this pilot fish is working for a government contractor when an order comes in from an Air Force legal office for three cutting-edge, top-of-the-line handheld scanners.

Shark Tank: And we certainly can't have
that, can we?

Shark Tank: And we certainly can't have
that, can we? 03/13/2003 10:22 AM
There's a vote coming up at this international association of educators, so the executive director gives the IT manager pilot fish the job of estimating how much it'll cost using paper ballots and scanning equipment.

Shark Tank: Sure, we can do that

Shark Tank: Sure, we can do that 03/13/2003 10:22 AM
This assignment is technically pretty straightforward: Write an application to track how long it takes to process each document at the company. But the politics of putting it in place are a little more complicated.

Shark Tank: It's all in how you ask

Shark Tank: It's all in how you ask 06/05/2005 10:55 PM
Sysadmin pilot fish works in a hospital, and he works hard to keep the staff happy -- especially the pharmacists. So when a networked machine that dispenses medications goes off-line, fish knows what to do.

Shark Tank: Ya think?

Shark Tank: Ya think? 03/17/2005 02:55 AM
Pilot fish is on the team deploying a management system for a medical practice. And because some of the users are computerphobic, the team tries to make things as mistakeproof as possible.

Shark Tank: Two-fer

Shark Tank: Two-fer 03/17/2005 02:55 AM
Plant foreman comes to this pilot fish with a challenge: He wants a way to display important operational statistics so machine operators can see them at a glance.

Shark Tank: Efficiency

Shark Tank: Efficiency 09/16/2004 02:02 AM
This pilot fish's team gets a request from senior management to configure a server for Internet conferencing. It's a simple task -- in fact, it's simple enough that they don't really need fish's group to do it at all.

Shark Tank: How (not) to get off the
mainframe

Shark Tank: How (not) to get off the
mainframe 12/19/2004 03:19 PM
Flash back to the early 1990s: The move to client/server is in full swing, and the company where this programmer pilot fish works makes a decision to "get off the mainframe."

Shark Tank: How the dinosaurs didn't die
out after all

Shark Tank: How the dinosaurs didn't die
out after all 12/19/2004 03:19 PM
This insurance company has been working for five years to rewrite its core systems, and now it's almost ready to be rolled out -- just as soon as it's tested.

Shark Tank: And thanks so much for your
cooperation

Shark Tank: And thanks so much for your
cooperation 06/17/2005 07:23 PM
Pilot fish is at a remote site, installing a digital rights management system on a server. And the tech who maintains servers at the site isn't happy at all.

Shark Tank: Who wants to sit by the
window?

Shark Tank: Who wants to sit by the
window? 01/23/2004 12:14 AM
Flashback to the early 1980s, when this European contractor pilot fish is working on a command-and-control information system for his country's navy -- and the USSR trade delegation is located 300 meters away.

Shark Tank: For everything else, there's
an upgrade

Shark Tank: For everything else, there's
an upgrade 12/31/2003 12:25 AM
This direct-marketing company's sales VP for the New York region complains that the computers in his office are so slow staff can't get their work done -- and something must be done now!

Shark Tank: Professional help

Shark Tank: Professional help 01/03/2004 12:07 AM
College student pilot fish has been the self-taught IT guy for this small business since he was 17. But after he has upgraded, revamped and secured the entire network, the boss decides to bring in professionals.

Shark Tank: Wanna bet?

Shark Tank: Wanna bet? 12/19/2004 03:19 PM
This printing company's network has to keep running, and everything in the system is doubled up, so having both nodes down at the same time is pretty much impossible -- in theory.

Shark Tank: They don't really care; they
just want help

Shark Tank: They don't really care; they
just want help 04/29/2004 11:29 PM
For this new pilot fish on the help desk, troubleshooting over the phone is second nature. So when a a panicky user calls believing he's destroyed his computer and lost all his files, fish doesn't miss a beat.

Shark Tank: Not What I Had in Mind

Shark Tank: Not What I Had in Mind 12/19/2004 03:19 PM
A bank's IT staff replaces some server disk drives, and just for fun, this IT manager pilot fish hands a tech a sledgehammer to make sure the data is destroyed. ...

Shark Tank: What a Concept!

Shark Tank: What a Concept! 09/21/2004 12:38 AM
This user's network drive is staggering the file server with hundreds of megabytes of games -- and that's completely against company policy. Fortunately, the user has an explanation. ...

Shark Tank: Maybe that custodian had it
right after all

Shark Tank: Maybe that custodian had it
right after all 08/27/2004 02:01 PM
This new business office administrator's first order of business is to get everybody to clean their desks -- including the guys in the tech room.

Shark Tank: Is there an echo in here?

Shark Tank: Is there an echo in here? 01/10/2004 01:37 AM
This pilot fish works at a small company that relies heavily on e-mail for communications with managers, district managers and regional managers. And that, it turns out, is a problem.

Shark Tank: And thanks for your support

Shark Tank: And thanks for your support 04/19/2005 09:42 AM
User calls sysadmin pilot fish: A copy of this invoice just keeps printing over and over, and it won't stop.
Grok Description matches for Shark Tank: Well, it IS April 1, after all
GrokA matches for Shark Tank: Well, it IS April 1, after all

Shark Tank: Well, it IS April 1, after all

The following phrases have been identified by the grok system as matching this entry: "shark tank" "well, it is april 1, after all"