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Is Spalding Gray Finally Swimming to Cambodia?







Is Spalding Gray Finally Swimming to
Cambodia?

Is Spalding Gray Finally Swimming to
Cambodia?
01/17/2004 10:47 PM

I'm in New York, where it was zero degrees last night with a wind that seemed to be hauling some large chunk of the Hudson River with it as it clawed its way down Grand Street. Somewhere out there in that grim dark is whatever remains of my old pal Spalding Gray. Both seriously and humorously, more often both, he's been threatening for years to do himself in. Indeed, his jokes about suicide preserved him and certainly entertained me. But now that it's starting to look like he's actually gone and done it, suicide is not so amusing. I try to imagine him actually attempting a swim to Cambodia. I see him swan-diving from the rail of the Staten Island Ferry late Saturday night when he disappeared, rounding Sandy Hook by dawn, and turning south for Cape Horn. He'd be well past the mouth of the Delaware by now, strong swimmer that he is. What a great monologue this is going to make. Or not. Spalding inhabits a magical reality where such feats might actually be possible, but there is something about the current state of New York Harbor that seems adamantly unfit for human survival. In my less magical reality, it's easier to see him beneath all that black water. Still, it seems premature to write one of those eulogies that I all too often compose for my closest friends. Part of me thinks I should be out there looking for him rather than writing this. Perhaps, I think, he just went out on one of his famous walks, walks that I shared for many droll miles. Perhaps he was hit by a cab and is lying comatose and unidentified in one of this perilous island's anonymous hospitals. He left his wallet and ID at his loft and would thus have been taken for another homeless drifter, as he frequently was. He could be holed up somewhere, waiting for his mood to pass. But he hates (or hated) to be alone. Neither seems likely, but where there's no proof, there remains hope, however unrealistic. What is grief without finality? A terrible confusion and an opportunity to celebrate what one might still have....




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Is Spalding Gray Finally Swimming to Cambodia?

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Barlow on Spalding Gray: "Is he finally
swimming to Cambodia?"


Barlow on Spalding Gray: "Is he finally
swimming to Cambodia?"
01/17/2004 10:57 PM
John Perry Barlow, a friend of missing monologist Spalding Gray, writes:
I try to imagine him actually attempting a swim to Cambodia. I see him swan-diving from the rail of the Staten Island Ferry late Saturday night when he disappeared, rounding Sandy Hook by dawn, and turning south for Cape Horn. He'd be well past the mouth of the Delaware by now, strong swimmer that he is. What a great monologue this is going to make. Or not. Spalding inhabits a magical reality where such feats might actually be possible, but there is something about the current state of New York Harbor that seems adamantly unfit for human survival. In my less magical reality, it's easier to see him beneath all that black water.

Still, it seems premature to write one of those eulogies that I all too often compose for my closest friends. Part of me thinks I should be out there looking for him rather than writing this. Perhaps, I think, he just went out on one of his famous walks, walks that I shared for many droll miles. Perhaps he was hit by a cab and is lying comatose and unidentified in one of this perilous island's anonymous hospitals. He left his wallet and ID at his loft and would thus have been taken for another homeless drifter, as he frequently was. He could be holed up somewhere, waiting for his mood to pass. But he hates (or hated) to be alone. Neither seems likely, but where there's no proof, there remains hope, however unrealistic. What is grief without finality? A terrible confusion and an opportunity to celebrate what one might still have.

Link

Spalding Gray, remembered in comments


Spalding Gray, remembered in comments 02/13/2004 01:12 PM
It's one of those little mysteries of the Web, but a one-line blog entry of mine that does nothing but point to John Perry Barlow's moving memory of Spalding Gray has accreted a set of stories and tributes on my comment board that is quite remarkable....

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John Perry Barlow on Spalding Gray 01/17/2004 10:43 PM
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Spalding Gray Memorial at Lincoln Center
on April 13


Spalding Gray Memorial at Lincoln Center
on April 13
04/09/2004 04:01 PM
I was not surprised to learn last Sunday that the castaway husk of Spalding Gray had surfaced in the East River. We had been told by the NYPD that those who sink in New York Harbor during wintertime will rise again come spring. While I felt certain that Spalding had gone for his last swim on January 10, some others regarded my efforts to eulogize him as cruelly premature and tasteless. Their remonstrances, posted here and in personal messages to me, were often pretty cruel themselves. It's been hard. But it was also true that, in the absence of undeniable evidence, his widow Kathie couldn't guarantee his young sons Theo and Forrest that their dad would never, ever come moping back up the driveway. Indeed, given the dogged nature of hope, she couldn't utterly extinguish that vision from her own heart. As long as it flickered there, we had to await the opportunity to gather in our grief and celebrate him. Now we can. Of course, you've already begun that process virtually. Since Sunday, there has been an extraordinary stream of memorial comments posted to this blog. I have received as many more e-mails filled with the spreading contagion of his honesty and raconteur's genius for investing ordinary details with more universal magic. Having him watched him button-hole strangers for years, I'm not quite surprised by how many of you have turned up with vividly personal memories of Spalding. That he was able to weave his quirky voice and viewpoint so discernibly into your own during those encounters seems proof that the soul is not so easily contained by its original bottle of flesh. Though widely distributed, it almost feels as if there's more of Spalding in the world now than there was when he was still walking around muttering to himself. But funerals need bodies, the living as much as the dead. It's important to embrace those who share our loss with actual arms, to shed real tears on real shoulders, to praise the departed with audible voices. To that end, there will be a memorial celebration for Spalding at Lincoln Center on April 13. It will be open to the public and will feature performances and reminiscences by many of his friends, including Philip Glass and Lou Reed. I'll let you know more about this event as plans develop. Meanwhile, I am still collecting your postings and e-mails into a book I will give his family. It already provides beautiful evidence that Spalding was himself the source of many Perfect Moments and that, however grim the end of his life, he leaves a legacy of joyous truth to his sons. In one of the comments to my original post regarding his regarding his disappearance, one of you quoted some lines from the Dylan Thomas poem, "And Death Shall Have No Dominion." It felt so uncannily appropriate that I want to post it here in its entirety. Death doesn't have Spalding Gray. We do. And death shall have no dominion. Dead men naked they shall be one With the man in the wind and the west moon; When their bones are picked clean and the clean bones gone, They shall have stars at elbow and foot; Though they go mad they shall be sane, Though they sink through the sea they shall rise again; Though lovers be lost love shall not; And death shall have no dominion. And death shall have no dominion. Under the windings of the sea They lying long shall not die windily; Twisting on racks when sinews give way, Strapped to a wheel, yet they shall not break; Faith in their hands shall snap in two, And the unicorn evils run them through; Split all ends up they shan't crack; And death shall have no dominion. And death shall have no dominion. No more may gulls cry at their ears Or waves break loud on the seashores; Where blew a flower may a flower no more Lift its head to the blows of the rain; Though they be mad and dead as nails, Heads of the characters hammer through daisies; Break in the sun till the sun breaks down, And death shall have no dominion....

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Monologuist, Is Confirmed Dead


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Missing Actor Spalding Gray Found Dead
(AP)


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(AP)
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