stargeek
As opposed to that authentic smoke...As opposed to that authentic smoke...As opposed to that authentic smoke... 01/05/2004 06:53 PM Fake bongs for conspiracists with time on their hands... But can square-jawed MeFites figure out what happened here? Remember, Captain Scarlet is indestructible... This is a GrokNews Entry: (what is grok?)As opposed to that authentic smoke...Grok Headline matches for As opposed to that authentic smoke...All Those OpposedAll Those Opposed 02/14/2003 04:01 AM WebTechniques Feb 14 2003 3:06AM ET Authentic voiceAuthentic voice 06/21/2004 07:32 AM Yesterday, during a conversation — telephonic! — with Jeneane, the question of what constitutes "authentic voice" arose. I dislike the word "authenticity" although I use it because it gets at something we all (?) sense is there: We know there are phonies, so we need words to express non-phoniness. "Sincere" works when we're talking about the possible gap between feelings and expressions. "Integrity" applies to behavior that consistently matches principles. Authenticity refers to a possible gap in our very being, whatever that means. (But it seems to mean something.) While we need the word, applying it to voice gets... says CBS needs to prove the memos are
|
 Have
you been suffering from annoying bouts of optimism and hopefulness
that
things might actually get better soon? Now you can banish those
anxiety-causing thoughts forever with Dr. Ebenezer Scrooge's masterful
program of despair, Authentic Misery®. Here's how it
works. Simply select the three statements from the list of 24 below
that you most
agree with. The words in bold in those three statements are your
Signature Weaknesses. In order to experience Authentic Misery, simply
dwell constantly on these weaknesses and berate yourself for them.
Assure yourself that they're all
your fault,
because they are! You are obviously weak, and have inferior values, or
you would be cheerful and care-free like the US Presnit.
If this isn't enough to keep you truly and perpetually miserable, try this Being In The Moment exercise. Go and visit your local factory farm, penitentiary, crack neighbourhood, women's shelter or soup kitchen and talk to the people there. Hear their stories. Then realize there are millions, billions of pathetic people and suffering animals living in environments that are even worse, every day for their increasingly long lives, and that no one is willing to take responsibility for what has led to their situation, and that between environmental destruction, corporatism, endless wars over increasingly scarce resources, profligate spending, interminable cuts to government services, and skyrocketing corporate subsidies, their situation is going to get unimaginably worse still very soon. And the outlook for the next generation is ten times worse again. Another excellent exercise for entrenching your state of Authentic Misery is called Negative Imaging. Picture yourself as the nurturing, caring wife of a brutal and abusive man who has convinced everyone you know that he is the perfect, strict father. He drinks himself into a constant blind rage and takes it all out on you and your nine deprived and starving children. He gambles away all the money you earn and save, which he's lost to his incredibly rich poker buddies. Are you getting into the Authentic Misery spirit yet? Great. Because it's really that bad. Now, let's rewrite that obnoxious Serenity Prayer in the spirit of Authentic Misery. The original version, which was plagiarized anyway reads: Grant
me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to
change
the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.
Ugh. Here's a better version: You
can't change anything, and you're stupid to try. But you should still
feel guilty about it, because it's your fault it's so bad in the first
place. And it's a lot of other people's fault, too, so you should be
very angry with everyone else as well.
Christmas is a great time to spread Authentic Misery to everyone around you. Why not buy a copy of Dr. Scrooge's great new book The Power of Negative Thinking for everyone on your list. Make Christmas a season of unbearable gloom for everyone you foolishly love and care about. After all, if you're not happy, why should anyone else be? And what's the point anyway? [with sincere apologies to Martin Seligman]  On a more serious note, here are my personal answers to the questions I posed in October on the subject of happiness, and their implications for saving the world:
"I always say you can have too much philosophy", Mrs. Kirkfield said.
"It isn't good for you. It's disorganizing. Everybody's got to wake up
sometime feeling that everything is terrible, because it is."
So what do we do with all this wisdom about unhappiness? We cope with it. We keep looking for answers that will make the world much less "terrible". We acknowledge that in a terrible world we are justified in being unhappy and likely to spend most of our lives that way. If we're really convinced that there's nothing we can do that will make any significant difference, we escape the pain as often as possible, using any means at our disposal: Sex, drugs, music, prayer, self-delusion, denial, feigned ignorance, suicide -- whatever works for each of us. And if we believe there is something we can do that will make a significant difference, then we either do it or die, or, worse, we wimp out, and feel guilty our whole lives for not acting on our instincts, and then die regretting what could have been. At this season when our society's happiness and unhappiness both reach their annual crescendo, I wish you -- not either of these two delusional states -- but instead, courage, to do. Your instincts will tell you what to do. |
I smoked today. Actually, I smoked just now with only 31 minutes left in the day. Not really a cigarrete even, more a mini-cigar that was sitting in a forgotten corner of the house until now. So horrible yet so comfortable. I've been on nicotine candy for the past three months and haven't been able to get off it. That's not really quitting, more like pausing. And I've been in an irritating state of mind for the past three months. Damn. I feel like a loser. The worst part of smoking these days is the guilt. I don't know if I am back to smoking or not yet. I am taking it one day at a time at this point. For now, allow me this pleasure of hating myself for this self-inflicted wound.
Found on CNN. I have nothing to add to this picture, I guess,
except to note that the Internet has enabled some amazing things in
its lifetime.
« Finnish pannukakku, cut into squares and layered with a fresh fruit compote. »
pan·cake n.
A thin cake made of batter that is poured onto a hot greased surface and cooked on both sides until brown. Also called flannel cake, flapjack; Also called griddlecake, hotcake; also called regionally battercake.
Aside from transcending cultures, pancakes also transcend social classes. They are served in the simplest households and in the grandest royal palaces.
American pancakes seem to have an almost mythological aura surrounding them since so many Americans travel around and scoff at what the locals call a pancake. Yankees with their pancakes and maple syrup were pretty late on getting into the pancake scene as nearly every culture has some kind of pancake as part of their regional cuisine. There are likely as many different varieties of pancakes in the US as there are states, too. But, America elevated the pancake to a valued breakfast food and welcomed diners serving breakfast all day and all night. Finding a good stack of pancakes with warm syrup and a side of scrapple is sometimes difficult, but the pancake is more than just a food, it's a feeling of being home. Pancakes are the basic comfort food in the US.
Some of my fondest memories as a kid involve going to IHOP after Sunday mass for a stack of pancakes topped with a smile fashioned from 2 maraschino cherry eyes, a whipped butter nose and a pineapple ring smile. I despised going to church, but I sucked it up every week knowing that I only had to suffer for an hour to be rewarded with heavenly pancakes. I was easy back then. :) Even when I was older, going to the all night diner for pancakes and eggs after drinking and dancing was a cherished tradition. Finland may have pancakes but the lack of diners or greasy spoons really is a gaping chasm in the comfort food landscape.
Jarkko attempted to make a Finnish pancake for me at some point when we were living back in Boston. He made three attempts and was convinced that the milk or eggs were too different when he failed every time to recreate his beloved pancake. I'm not sure what went wrong, but I'm pretty certain that the eggs and milk in the US aren't quite that different. Finland has a few different varieties of pankcake; the lettu, a crepe-like thin pancake that is fried on a large paella pan, spread with strawberry jam and folded, the ohukkaat, small dollar pancakes and the pannukakku, an oven baked pancake. All of these use a similar, if not the same, batter. They are served a variety of ways, depending on if they are sweet and served with jam or fresh fruit, possibly with cream, or savoury and served with meat and vegetables. Pancakes are very flexible.
I like the Finnish pancakes as what's not to love about a sweet, fried/baked treat served with jam and cream? But, there are certain foods that you eat as a child that become your basic measure of familiarity, your comfort foods, and as much as I enjoy Finnish pancakes, they just aren't the fluffy blueberry flapjacks served with whipped butter and hot maple syrup with a side of scrapple and eggs from my favourite diner back home. It works both ways though as, given the choice between both the pannukakku and the German pancake in the icebox, Jarkko goes for the pannukakku first. I wanted to solve the mystery of the Finnish pancake not working in the US and I think that maybe Jarkko just wasn't remembering the recipe correctly. Or something. :) The Finnish pannukakku recipe is quite good and I'm happy with it after sifting through about 40 different recipes on the net and in a few cookbooks I have. I'm sure that it will work just as well elsewhere in the world. I also wanted to make something American [in spite of the 'German' in the name] that might meet somewhere between the flapjack and the pannukakku. The German pancake is a baked pancake that has fruit and cream in it, as well as a caramel sauce, which are all popular standards in many Finnish desserts, but not common in the pannukakku. If I had any maple syrup around I would try that on it as well since it might swing the taste back towards home.
Pannukakku, maailman paras!/The world's best [Finnish] Pancake!
Makes: about 35 small ohukkaat or 1 med-large pancake ~1-2 cm thick or a reasonable number of waffles.
Time: about 80 minutes, including a 30 minute rest for the batter
Source: Ruoka ja Viini
- 8 dl or 3.5 cups milk
- 2-3 eggs
- 1 teaspoon salt
- 1 dl or 1/2 cup sugar
- 2 teaspoons vanilla sugar**
- 4 dl or 1.75 cups wheat flour
- 1 teaspoon baking powder
- 50-100g or 1/2-1 stick melted butter
- In a bowl, whisk eggs until the yolks are broken and add milk.
- Mix together dry ingredients. You can reduce the amount of sugar or remove it entirely if you wish.
- Add the dry ingredient mixture gradually into the egg-milk mixture, stirring well.
- Let the batter rest for 30 minutes.
- Pour batter into baking pan covered in baking paper, place in a cold oven and bake at 225C/425F for about 30 minutes. The baking paper may also be greased with oil or melted butter so that the pancake relases easily from the pan.
The pannukakku batter is very similar for all the varieties of lettut [crepes], ohukkaat [dollar pancakes], vohvelit [waffles] and pannukakku [pancake]. This particular recipe is excellent and, perhaps, a bit on the sweet side but you can reduce the amount of sugar or remove it entirely and add vegetables and/or some sort of meat for a savory version. I also found that sifting the flour into the mixture made a smoother batter since the egg and milk tend to make unsifted flour form clumps. I used 75g of butter and thought it to be a bit on the greasy side so using the 50g instead of the 100g suggestion seems the better amount. The baking time will vary as I found 30 minutes was not quite long enough as, even though it was getting brown on top, the center was still a bit gooey.
**About vanilla sugar: Don't substitute vanilla extract for this. The difference in taste is akin to the difference between a quart of Bryer's Vanilla Ice Cream with the full bean and some other cheap vanilla ice cream. Life is too short to use fake vanilla considering that we may be the last generation to enjoy the real bean. You can make your own if it's not readily available.
Vanilla Sugar
- 2-3 vanilla beans
- 2 cups confectioner's [or granulated] sugar
Slice down the side of the vanilla beans with a knife and scrape the seeds into an airtight container with the sugar. Mix seeds into the sugar and seal tightly with lid. Let sit for 1 to 2 weeks.
German Apple Pancake
Makes: 1 10" or 25cm diameter pancake
Time: about 1 hour
Special Equipment: Ovenproof skillet
Source: Cook's IllustratedThe perfect pancake should have crisp, lighter-than-air edges and a custard-like center, with buttery sautéed apples baked right into the batter.
A 10-inch ovenproof skillet is necessary for this recipe; we highly recommend using a nonstick skillet for the sake of easy cleanup, but a regular skillet will work as well. You can also use a cast-iron pan; if you do, set the oven temperature to 425 degrees in step 1, and when cooking the apples in step 3, cook them only until just barely golden, about 6 minutes. Cast iron retains heat better than stainless steel, making the higher oven temperature unnecessary.
- 1/2 cup or 1.25 dl unbleached all-purpose flour
- 1 tablespoon granulated sugar
- 1/2 teaspoon table salt
- 2 large eggs
- 2/3 cup or 1.5 dl half-and-half [half cream, half whole milk]
- 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
- 2 tablespoons unsalted butter
- 1 1/4 pounds or about .56 kg Granny Smith or Braeburn apples (3 to 4 large apples), peeled, quartered, cored, and cut into 1/2-inch-thick slices
- 1/4 cup or 1/2 dl light brown sugar or dark brown sugar
- 1/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon
- 1 teaspoon lemon juice
- confectioners' sugar for dusting
- Adjust oven rack to upper-middle position; pre-heat oven to 500F/260C degrees.
- Whisk to combine flour, granulated sugar, and salt in medium bowl. In second medium bowl, whisk eggs, half-and-half, and vanilla until combined. Add liquid ingredients to dry and whisk until no lumps remain, about 20 seconds; set batter aside.
- Heat butter in 10-inch/25cm ovenproof nonstick skillet over medium-high heat until sizzling. Add apples, brown sugar, and cinnamon; cook, stirring frequently with heatproof rubber spatula, until apples are golden brown, about 10 minutes. Off heat, stir in lemon juice.
- Working quickly, pour batter around the edge of the skillet and over the top of the apples. Place skillet in oven and immediately reduce oven temperature to 218C/425F degrees; bake until pancake edges are brown and puffy and have risen above edges of skillet, about 18 minutes.
- Using oven mitts to protect hands, remove hot skillet from oven and loosen pancake edges with heatproof rubber spatula; invert pancake onto serving platter. Dust with confectioners' sugar, cut into wedges, and serve.
This recipe is wonderful if you like apple pancakes. I did notice that the baking time was a bit longer than 18 minutes. If you like firmer apples, you can reduce the initial frying time by half. If you lack a proper skillet, i.e. one with a plastic handle, you can likely use a small baking pan if you heat it first in the oven and quickly transfer the apples to it after frying them. Be sure to remove the pancake from the pan as soon as you remove it from the oven since it will stick if you leave it to cool for even a few minutes. Make the caramel sauce as it complements the pancake perfectly, but prepare it a few hours or even a day or two ahead of time as it seems that the flavour blooms after resting and cooling for a while. A scoop of vanilla ice cream is a tasty accompaniment, too.
Caramel Sauce
Makes about 1.5 cups or 3.5 dl
- 1/2 cup or 1.25 dl water
- 1 cup or 2.25 dl granulated sugar
- 1 cup or 2.25 dl heavy cream
- 1/8 teaspoon table salt
- 1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
- 1/2 teaspoon lemon juice
- Place water in heavy-bottomed 2-quart saucepan; pour sugar in center of pan, taking care not to let sugar crystals adhere to sides of pan. Cover and bring mixture to boil over high heat; once boiling, uncover and continue to boil until syrup is thick and straw-colored (syrup should register 300F/150C degrees on candy thermometer), about 7 minutes. Reduce heat to medium and continue to cook until syrup is deep amber (syrup should register 350F/175C degrees on candy thermometer), about 1 to 2 minutes.
- Meanwhile, bring cream and salt to simmer in small saucepan over high heat (if cream boils before sugar reaches deep amber color, remove cream from heat and cover to keep warm).
- Remove sugar syrup from heat; very carefully pour about one quarter of hot cream into it (mixture will bubble vigorously so don't use a small saucepan), and let bubbling subside. Add remaining cream, vanilla, and lemon juice; whisk until sauce is smooth. (Sauce can be cooled and refrigerated in airtight container for up to 2 weeks.)
**As uttered by Goldmember in an Austin Powers movie....
The following phrases have been identified by the grok system as matching this entry:
