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How to ApologizeHow to ApologizeHow to Apologize 01/02/2004 06:00 AM This LiveJournal post explaining how to apologize is a fine read, and particularily nice to start the year with. I did my share of apology-worth things in 2003, and I expect there will be any number deeds in 2004: if I can hew to these guidelines when saying sorry, I'll be a better person for it. Be Specific and Don't Exaggerate: Avoid hyperbole, exaggeration, self-pity, and vagueness. Instead, try to focus on a realistic and specific approximation of what you actually did wrong. Exaggerations and vague generalizations put the other person in the position of defending you instead of accepting an apology, which isn't fair to them. It's a way of (consciously or unconsciously) weaseling out of actually taking responsibility for your actions. For example:Link (via Electrolite) This is a GrokNews Entry: (what is grok?)How to ApologizeGrok Headline matches for How to ApologizeWhy can't governments apologize?Why can't governments apologize? 05/27/2004 10:57 PM Why is it that governments have so much trouble admitting that they've made mistakes? Let's take the U.S. government, for example. Right now we have troops deployed in Afghanistan and Iraq. We don't seem to be achieving our goals or be welcome in either place. Why can't we apologize sincerely and go home? In Afghanistan the U.S. spent a huge amount of effort trying to thwart Soviet control in the late 1970s. Jimmy Carter sent all kinds of money and weapons to the Islamic rebels so that they could kill Russian kids in uniform. In retrospect this seems like a bad mistake. If the Afghanistan had been a Russian possession there would never have been a Taliban and perhaps never an Osama bin-Laden or September 11th. Could we offer a sincere apology today to the Russians and offer Afghanistan back to them? Saddam Hussein seems to be alive and well. The Iraqi people don't like us, if newspaper articles and armed resistance are to be believed. Why not say to Saddam "We were wrong about your weapons programs and we're sorry for invading and here's your country back?" Our troops could get on planes in Baghdad and wave goodbye to a restored Saddam. (We might want to split off an area in the north and give it to the Kurds since we made them some promises back in the early 1990s and it would be good to keep them.) Governments do this with wrongly convicted criminals. We say "Sorry for your 15 years in jail. We didn't have DNA testing back then. Enjoy the rest of your life." Why not do this in foreign policy instead of trying to come up with contorted ex-post-facto justifications? The Three A's - Acknowledge, Apologize,
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