I'm not drunk officer, just...inconflobulated

Grok Headline matches for I'm not drunk officer, just...inconflobulated

I am not a crook. I'm a drunk.

I am not a crook. I'm a drunk. 05/27/2004 12:36 PM
Today's news oddity: In October 1973, U.S.-Soviet tensions were peaking over the Arab-Israeli war, and British Prime Minister Edward Heath's office called the White House just before 8 p.m. to ask to speak with Nixon. "Can we tell them no?" Kissinger asked his assistant, Brent Scowcroft. "When I talked to the president, he was loaded." It's funnier if you read the above in Kissinger's voice.

Drunk? Your Car Will '86' You

Drunk? Your Car Will '86' You 04/06/2005 06:23 PM
Wired News Apr 6 2005 9:57PM GMT

Drummer for the Drunk

Drummer for the Drunk 08/16/2004 03:53 PM

« This percussionist is frequently downtown during the warmer months and he shuttles his equipment around in a baby carriage inbetween performances. You can see his audience in the lower left corner before the drunk wagon turned up to help him along. »

Acme-Drunk-0.01

Acme-Drunk-0.01 11/12/2003 06:50 PM

Take Me Home, I'm Drunk

Take Me Home, I'm Drunk 04/16/2004 02:22 PM

Man Shows Up Drunk for His Hearing (AP)

Man Shows Up Drunk for His Hearing (AP) 09/15/2004 07:23 AM
AP - A motorist's bail was revoked when police said he had the daring to show up drunk to his preliminary hearing on drunken driving charges.

Drink, drank, drunk...

Drink, drank, drunk... 12/11/2003 10:55 AM
How much alcohol have YOU consumed in your life? Take the "drink-o-meter" test. (Flash) I rated a "Homer Simpson", which means I could fill a few bathtubs, but haven't quite spent the Ferrari money. Something tells me that many of MeFi's finest will bury my score...via the Sporting Press.

DUI Defendant Comes to Court Drunk (AP)

DUI Defendant Comes to Court Drunk (AP) 08/04/2004 07:55 AM
AP - Something smelled rotten when Michael Hanczyk showed up in court to fight a drunken driving charge. Authorities say it was the booze on his breath.

Drunk unlocks police car with own key

Drunk unlocks police car with own key 02/15/2004 03:54 PM
http://catless.ncl.ac.uk/Risks/23.18.html What are the odds of having not only a matching door/ignition key, but also the keyless entry remote? Apparently pretty good odds :)

Drunk in charge of a mouse

Drunk in charge of a mouse 01/07/2004 05:40 PM
Bloody love the internet, me: How much data storage would be needed to store all of the words ever spoken? The answer, it turns out, is not the one most well known. Great stuff, which links to the Iron Laws...

I'm not as drunk as some thinkle peep I
am.

I'm not as drunk as some thinkle peep I
am. 07/01/2004 03:32 PM
Balance the Drunk. [flash, foreign]

World Record for Drunk

World Record for Drunk 12/20/2003 05:03 PM
"The unidentified middle-aged man was unconscious but stable after a blood test showed 7.22 parts per million of alcohol, police spokeswoman Ieva Zvidre said. An average person would vomit at around 1.2, lose consciousness at 3.0 and stop breathing at a level of about 4.0 parts per million, Zvidre said, adding: 'This is one for the Guinness Book of Records.'"

Now, just because they used that term, you know someone's going to try and break it.

Data-Drunk Enterprises Get Relief

Data-Drunk Enterprises Get Relief 09/20/2004 10:15 AM
Enterprises are looking for advanced storage management and backup recovery tools to help them handle rapidly expanding data volumes.

Gunman Passes Out Drunk to End Standoff
(AP)

Gunman Passes Out Drunk to End Standoff
(AP) 01/04/2005 08:28 PM
AP - A western New York man said to be grieving the death of a family member took a bartender hostage Monday and opened fire on police during a four-hour standoff that ended only after he passed out drunk, authorities said.

Drunk Run Over by Train, Lives (Reuters)

Drunk Run Over by Train, Lives (Reuters) 04/26/2004 09:02 AM
Reuters - A Mexican man who got drunk, fell asleep on railroad tracks and was run over by a train slept through the entire episode and escaped unharmed, local officials said on Friday.

Drunk driver admits killing three

Drunk driver admits killing three 05/31/2004 06:46 AM
A man admits killing a woman and two children after driving into them when he was drunk and high on ecstacy.

Survey: 1 in 5 Germans Drink to Get
Drunk (AP)

Survey: 1 in 5 Germans Drink to Get
Drunk (AP) 07/21/2004 11:13 PM
AP - Almost 1 in 5 German adults — or 17 percent — believe the point of drinking is to get drunk, according to a survey released Wednesday.

The Point of Drinking Is to Get Drunk?
(Reuters)

The Point of Drinking Is to Get Drunk?
(Reuters) 07/21/2004 07:28 AM
Reuters - Germans are Europe's worst binge drinkers with almost one in five believing "the point of drinking is to get drunk," according to a survey Wednesday.

The The driver, I found out later, was
drunk, from Texas, and had only one arm

The The driver, I found out later, was
drunk, from Texas, and had only one arm 06/19/2004 10:30 AM
Pacific Beach, June 14, 2004

eecs.harvard.edu/~andy/cars/cars.html
track this site | 4 links

Bicyclist Charged With Drunk Driving
(AP)

Bicyclist Charged With Drunk Driving
(AP) 06/10/2004 06:07 PM
AP - Police charged a Hopkinsville man with drunk driving Wednesday morning after an officer saw him riding a bicycle in the middle of the road without a headlight.

What’s his accomplishment? That he’s
no longer an obnoxious drunk?

What’s his accomplishment? That he’s
no longer an obnoxious drunk? 06/16/2004 02:43 PM
Reagan' s Son is Not Too Impressed. [An interesting Article from Salon, More Inside.]

Take Me Home, I'm Drunk: The Killer App
For Mobile Phones?

Take Me Home, I'm Drunk: The Killer App
For Mobile Phones? 04/16/2004 06:32 PM
The BBC is reporting on a new prototype piece of software designed for some students for smart phones that would act as a "student companion" of sorts. It apparently has a variety of features (not very many of which are described in the article) to help with both academic and social lives. Of course, the feature that (not surprisingly) gets the most attention is an application called "Take Me Home, I'm Drunk" which, when started, calls a taxi company and notifies them of the student's location - and their home address. People have always said that it would be the vices such as porn and gambling that became the "killer app" for mobile phones. Now, perhaps, we can add alcohol to that list as well.

How to Recall Drunk-Dialed SMS Text
Messages

How to Recall Drunk-Dialed SMS Text
Messages 06/22/2005 02:41 AM

First Amazon locks down one-click buying, and now Samsung just got the patent for un-sending drunk SMS messaging. Here’s some info from cellularnews.com: “Samsung has been awarded a patent on a method of sending an SMS to a handset then being able to later send a “delete” command to the same phone to erase the SMS from the handset memory. The patent is apparently aimed at people who mass broadcast messages and accidentally include incorrect…

Direct and Related Links for 'How to Recall Drunk-Dialed SMS Text Messages'

New Book Salutes Otis the Town Drunk
(AP)

New Book Salutes Otis the Town Drunk
(AP) 09/22/2004 04:27 PM
AP - A decade after his death, Otis Campbell, the town drunk on "The Andy Griffith Show," is the subject of a new book.

Drunk Horse-And-Buggy Driver Causes
Crash (AP)

Drunk Horse-And-Buggy Driver Causes
Crash (AP) 08/18/2004 08:38 PM
AP - Police in eastern Latvia were trying to determine Wednesday what charges to bring against a drunken horse-and-buggy driver who caused a drunken motorist to crash into a ditch, flipping his car.

Drunk Students Adrift on Raft at Sea
(Reuters)

Drunk Students Adrift on Raft at Sea
(Reuters) 06/01/2004 10:36 AM
Reuters - A band of drunk Dutch students taking a break from exams had to be rescued at sea after a raft they built from empty jerrycans went adrift on the North Sea, the Hague police said Friday.

BRITNEY SPEARS JUST FUCKING GOT MARRIED
AND SHE WAS PROBABLY DRUNK WHEN SHE DID
IT

BRITNEY SPEARS JUST FUCKING GOT MARRIED
AND SHE WAS PROBABLY DRUNK WHEN SHE DID
IT 01/05/2004 06:09 AM
Britney Spears marries Jason Alexander .. the guy that married Britney .. Britney Supposedly Hitched?

story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/ap/20040104/ap_on_e n_mu/britney_spears_wedding
track this site | 4 links

"Guide your drunk German friend home
from the bar"

"Guide your drunk German friend home
from the bar" 06/25/2004 03:22 PM

Shame: Drunk Drivers Published Online

Shame: Drunk Drivers Published Online 12/02/2003 10:13 PM

Drunk Driver Asks Police to Arrest Him
(AP)

Drunk Driver Asks Police to Arrest Him
(AP) 08/09/2004 06:30 PM
AP - It's not too often that the police get pulled over by a drunk driver. But that's what happened recently to Police Chief Ian McCollin.

Giggling Drunk Lawyer Delays Hearing
(AP)

Giggling Drunk Lawyer Delays Hearing
(AP) 08/09/2004 10:27 PM
AP - A visibly drunk prosecutor who was giggling uncontrollably prompted a halt in a sentence hearing and later posed for journalists outside the courthouse as Auguste Rodin's sculpture "The Thinker," newspaper reported Tuesday.

Drunk Driving Suspect Nabbed at
Drive-Thru (AP)

Drunk Driving Suspect Nabbed at
Drive-Thru (AP) 03/23/2005 04:09 PM
AP - A yearning for breakfast helped city police end a "low speed" chase of a drunken driving suspect. Jeffery Lynn Drinnon, 30, was arrested at the drive-through lane of a Hardee's restaurant about 5 a.m. Tuesday.

Sixty-Four Graduate Medical Students Got
Drunk In The Name of Science

Sixty-Four Graduate Medical Students Got
Drunk In The Name of Science 08/27/2004 01:33 PM
A patented Prickly Pear Cactus Fruit Extract has been proven to prevent hangover symptoms and provide improved cognitive function the morning following drinking. [PRWEB Aug 25, 2004]

Drunk Flight Crew Members Beat Passenger
(AP)

Drunk Flight Crew Members Beat Passenger
(AP) 07/20/2004 09:37 AM
AP - Drunken passengers often give air crews trouble, but Russia's leading airline on Tuesday reported an "unprecedented" reversal: A passenger was assaulted by intoxicated flight attendants.

"Lots of Photos: ?The driver, I found
out later, was drunk, from Texas, and
had only one arm?"

"Lots of Photos: ?The driver, I found
out later, was drunk, from Texas, and
had only one arm?" 06/27/2004 03:21 AM

Police Stop Drunk Bulldozer Joyrider
(Reuters)

Police Stop Drunk Bulldozer Joyrider
(Reuters) 04/26/2004 09:02 AM
Reuters - German police stopped a 17-tonbulldozer weaving through Berlin's streets at 3 a.m. by jumping onto the excavator, smashing the window and spraying mace into the driver's face.

Drunk groom gets police escort to
wedding (Reuters)

Drunk groom gets police escort to
wedding (Reuters) 04/09/2004 04:13 PM
Reuters - A German man was forced to invite the police to his wedding after they arrested him for drink driving the day of his marriage and had to escort him to the registry office, authorities say.

Rolling Stoned Experiments in Riding
Motorcycles while Drunk

Rolling Stoned Experiments in Riding
Motorcycles while Drunk 06/05/2004 11:47 AM
Experiments in riding motorcycles while drunk .. motorcyclecruiser

motorcyclecruiser.com/streetsurvival/drunk
track this site | 4 links

WFTV.com - News - Drunk Man Pulls Cop
Over, Asks To Be Arrested

WFTV.com - News - Drunk Man Pulls Cop
Over, Asks To Be Arrested 08/12/2004 04:21 AM
Drunk motorist flags down cop, asks to be arrested .. Bryan S. Condo

wftv.com/news/3636873/detail.html
track this site | 4 links

Grok Description matches for I'm not drunk officer, just...inconflobulated
GrokA matches for I'm not drunk officer, just...inconflobulated

I'm not drunk officer, just...inconflobulated

The following phrases have been identified by the grok system as matching this entry: