Shark Tank: Just stand here and hold this for a few hours

Grok Headline matches for Shark Tank: Just stand here and hold this for a few hours

Shark Tank: It's all in how you ask

Shark Tank: It's all in how you ask 06/05/2005 10:55 PM
Sysadmin pilot fish works in a hospital, and he works hard to keep the staff happy -- especially the pharmacists. So when a networked machine that dispenses medications goes off-line, fish knows what to do.

Shark Tank: Possible

Shark Tank: Possible 01/17/2004 10:38 PM
It's back in the days of punch cards and paper tape, and the school district where this student pilot fish lives has a minicomputer just for student use.

Shark Tank: Ya think?

Shark Tank: Ya think? 03/17/2005 02:55 AM
Pilot fish is on the team deploying a management system for a medical practice. And because some of the users are computerphobic, the team tries to make things as mistakeproof as possible.

Shark Tank: Two-fer

Shark Tank: Two-fer 03/17/2005 02:55 AM
Plant foreman comes to this pilot fish with a challenge: He wants a way to display important operational statistics so machine operators can see them at a glance.

Shark Tank: Just our way of saying
thanks

Shark Tank: Just our way of saying
thanks 03/06/2004 01:53 AM
This software-based simulator is huge, it's more than a decade old, it's the division's cash cow -- and the project to deliver a new version is on track to miss its February delivery date by about four months.

Shark Tank: Who needs it?

Shark Tank: Who needs it? 03/06/2004 01:53 AM
It's the mid-1990s, and this site has two networks. One is an under-construction Ethernet network running Novell NetWare to Windows-based PCs. The other one -- the mainframe network -- is, well, interesting.

Shark Tank: It's all the PC he needs

Shark Tank: It's all the PC he needs 09/22/2004 12:32 AM
The company's executive offices are being recarpeted over the weekend, so this IT manager moves all the bigwigs' PCs on Friday, then heads out for a conference. But on Monday, the president isn't happy.

Shark Tank: Well, that's one way to do
it

Shark Tank: Well, that's one way to do
it 12/19/2004 03:19 PM
It's the spring of 1999, and this pilot fish has just set up a computer as a time server for the steel mill where he works -- which should make the switch to daylight-saving time a breeze.

Shark Tank: Just doing our bit

Shark Tank: Just doing our bit 04/20/2004 11:29 PM
It's the 1970s, and this pilot fish is working at a site in the Far East for a U.S. organization when communications problems set in.

Shark Tank: Yep, that would do it

Shark Tank: Yep, that would do it 12/19/2004 03:19 PM
This big construction-equipment dealership has locations in several states -- and one IT pilot fish who's responsible for all of them.

Shark Tank: Get it?

Shark Tank: Get it? 08/20/2004 11:15 PM
This university's server center is in a space never intended for that purpose -- dark, moldy, carpeted, with wonky air conditioning. Then management finally agrees to move it to a more appropriate space.

Shark Tank: Aw, would we do that to you?

Shark Tank: Aw, would we do that to you? 03/14/2005 05:10 PM
It's the late 1980s, and new-on-the-job IT pilot fish gets his first important project: Expand the Ethernet backbone into a new office area at this manufacturing company.

Shark Tank: Sometimes they just don't
want to know

Shark Tank: Sometimes they just don't
want to know 12/03/2003 12:36 AM
It's the early 1980s, and at a big Midwestern bank, this mainframe programmer pilot fish is part of a project that will revolutionize general ledger -- except for a billion-dollar problem.

Shark Tank: Because it's there

Shark Tank: Because it's there 07/09/2004 12:05 AM
This software company is eager to show its investors that it's spending money wisely. So when someone suggests using offshore development, the CTO begins courting offshore vendors.

Shark Tank: Who is he, again?

Shark Tank: Who is he, again? 11/05/2003 12:43 AM
When it's time for this consultant pilot fish to install the mortgage application he's written for a local bank, he walks into the bank and informs a teller, "I'm the computer guy..."

Shark Tank: Can't be!

Shark Tank: Can't be! 12/19/2004 03:19 PM
It's the late 1980s, and this pilot fish working at a big insurance company is facing the kind of miserable weekend project that only a penny-pinching mainframe shop can provide.

Shark Tank: Sure, we can do that

Shark Tank: Sure, we can do that 03/13/2003 10:22 AM
This assignment is technically pretty straightforward: Write an application to track how long it takes to process each document at the company. But the politics of putting it in place are a little more complicated.

Shark Tank: If I can get around it, it
must be OK

Shark Tank: If I can get around it, it
must be OK 04/06/2005 02:42 PM
This company's sales system has been modified to block orders from customers with credit problems. But according to a branch sales manager, the credit check doesn't work.

Shark Tank: Thanks for All Your Help

Shark Tank: Thanks for All Your Help 07/31/2004 12:20 AM
Remote server goes down hard, and it appears to be due to overheating. So a tech is dispatched to the remote site to replace the server's fan -- but that's not the problem.

Shark Tank: Just because

Shark Tank: Just because 01/05/2005 01:35 AM
It's the mid-1990s, and this IT pilot fish works in a small support department at a big company where some processes are handled the old-fashioned way: through paperwork and sneakernet.

Shark Tank: What's in a Name?

Shark Tank: What's in a Name? 03/28/2005 01:18 PM
State agency's data warehouse project is renamed: It's now officially an "administrative systems reporting database." But why not just call it a data warehouse?

Shark Tank: And we certainly can't have
that, can we?

Shark Tank: And we certainly can't have
that, can we? 03/13/2003 10:22 AM
There's a vote coming up at this international association of educators, so the executive director gives the IT manager pilot fish the job of estimating how much it'll cost using paper ballots and scanning equipment.

Shark Tank: Don't DO That!

Shark Tank: Don't DO That! 08/06/2004 11:59 PM
It's years ago at this busy circuit-board manufacturing facility, and the new component-insertion machine suddenly starts sticking capacitors and resistors everywhere but where they belong.

Shark Tank: Just like it says in the ad

Shark Tank: Just like it says in the ad 12/19/2003 11:34 AM
It's the late 1980s, and this pilot fish is working for a government contractor when an order comes in from an Air Force legal office for three cutting-edge, top-of-the-line handheld scanners.

Shark Tank: You're very welcome

Shark Tank: You're very welcome 01/22/2004 02:11 AM
This IT pilot fish, the technical guru at a small company, needs copies: 50 pages, double-sided, collated and stapled. So he loads his originals into the copier and, unfortunately, gets help.

Shark Tank: Perfect 10

Shark Tank: Perfect 10 09/17/2004 12:44 AM
This pilot fish gets his first full-time job in IT as assistant network administrator for a college. It's not exactly the perfect job -- it's second shift, and there's a 70-mile commute. And, it seems, there's one other problem.

Shark Tank: Is there an echo in here?

Shark Tank: Is there an echo in here? 01/10/2004 01:37 AM
This pilot fish works at a small company that relies heavily on e-mail for communications with managers, district managers and regional managers. And that, it turns out, is a problem.

Shark Tank: Because the boss is always
right, that's why

Shark Tank: Because the boss is always
right, that's why 04/16/2004 11:37 PM
This pilot fish is setting up a new PC for the company president's secretary. And this time around, there's a change in procedure.

Shark Tank: Doing it the hard way

Shark Tank: Doing it the hard way 12/02/2003 01:58 AM
When this academic institute hosts conferences, there are always terminals at the back of the main lecture room for visitors to use -- but unfortunately, the wiring setup isn't exactly optimal.

Shark Tank: One crisis after another

Shark Tank: One crisis after another 12/02/2003 01:57 AM
It's 2001, California's energy crisis is heading into the rolling-blackouts stage, and at this high-tech venture capital firm in Silicon Valley, one founding partner wants to know how IT equipment is being protected.

Shark Tank: The right tool for the job

Shark Tank: The right tool for the job 03/14/2005 05:10 PM
The sales director for this company isn't very computer-savvy, and the IT manager pilot fish who's setting up the guy's new laptop knows that, so he decides to try a little color coding.

Shark Tank: The letter of the law

Shark Tank: The letter of the law 09/22/2004 11:21 PM
This pilot fish's server is upgraded, which means it's time to review all the processes related to disaster recovery -- and it turns out they're exactly what the corporate policy says.

Shark Tank: Not fast enough

Shark Tank: Not fast enough 03/30/2005 05:01 PM
Computer room operator calls hospital IT pilot fish at 2 a.m. "All my terminal sessions vanished," operator says. "I think the system is down."

Shark Tank: What a Concept!

Shark Tank: What a Concept! 09/21/2004 12:38 AM
This user's network drive is staggering the file server with hundreds of megabytes of games -- and that's completely against company policy. Fortunately, the user has an explanation. ...

Shark Tank: So THAT'S what it means

Shark Tank: So THAT'S what it means 03/23/2005 05:33 PM
This IT shop has a chargeback system, billing other departments for the amount of disk space they use. But this user wants to know: What day is disk usage calculated?

Shark Tank: Priorities

Shark Tank: Priorities 01/16/2004 11:01 AM
This desktop support pilot fish returns from a Saturday day trip with his wife to find his answering machine overflowing with increasingly desperate calls -- all from one user.

Shark Tank: Enough With Winter Already!

Shark Tank: Enough With Winter Already! 03/22/2005 03:47 PM
Environmental sensor goes off on Monday at 8:25 a.m.: water in the computer room. But when help arrives, no water is to be seen. Wednesday, it happens again -- and again, no water. Maybe it's a bad sensor?

Shark Tank: Wanna bet she still says no?

Shark Tank: Wanna bet she still says no? 03/25/2005 05:07 PM
Developer pilot fish needs to set up a Web front end for a database as part of a project he's working on. And he finds exactly the tool he needs -- or at least he thinks so.

Shark Tank: We have a winner!

Shark Tank: We have a winner! 06/10/2004 11:48 PM
This pilot fish works for a vendor that installs specialized software for state lottery departments, which is why he's on-site at a state lottery headquarters one evening when some lucky lottery player wins big.
Grok Description matches for Shark Tank: Just stand here and hold this for a few hours
GrokA matches for Shark Tank: Just stand here and hold this for a few hours

Shark Tank: But the IT director DID look
great in those ads

Shark Tank: But the IT director DID look
great in those ads 05/14/2004 11:42 PM
It's 1987, and this department's mainframe costs keep rising. The department's mainframe data processing takes four hours every night -- and end-of-month processing takes two full nights.

Shark Tank: The white stuff

Shark Tank: The white stuff 07/14/2004 12:07 AM
This IT pilot fish is the main on-site support for a small manufacturing division of a big petrochemical company. So he's the one on the spot when someone complains that the monthly inventory report is bad.

Great white shark attacks surfer

Great white shark attacks surfer 03/28/2005 01:26 PM
A 32-year-old British surfer survives an attack by a great white shark off the coast of South Africa.

Great White Shark Released Off
California (Reuters)

Great White Shark Released Off
California (Reuters) 04/01/2005 11:52 AM
Reuters - A great white shark in captivity for a record six months was released into the Pacific Ocean on Thursday after it attacked and killed two smaller sharks in its tank at the Monterey Bay Aquarium.

Shark Tank: Just so long as it's in the
system

Shark Tank: Just so long as it's in the
system 12/30/2003 01:37 AM
This company's CEO approaches a data center pilot fish. These three tape cartridges contain 4 million records, CEO tells fish. I want you to create a database and get them into the mainframe.

USB Fish Tank

USB Fish Tank 05/27/2004 10:56 AM
More cubical toys for the office. Instead of watching the monitor of a fake fish tank, now you can have a "real" fake-fish tank sitting next to your monitor. This USB Fish Tank comes with 2 properly buoyant plastic fish and motorized tank complete with cool blue LED. After you fill the tank with appropriate amount of water, drop in the two fish, plug it into an empty USB port on your computer or USB hub than watch the fish go.

See Inside Your Fish Tank

See Inside Your Fish Tank 03/17/2005 03:52 AM

So we missed this when Red Ferret Journal first talked about it last week, but shiny shiny just picked it up, bless their hearts. The Underwater Tank is an aquarium with a reverse periscope, allowing you to peer into the hearts and souls of your fish, with a feeder positioned right near the scope's lens, letting you watch them eat.

The periscope lets you inspect your fish at their own level, and a fish feeder has been positioned right by the scope's lens, so you can watch your fish feed. Use slow gentle movements so you don’t create turbulence in the water and disturb or frighten your fish.

Or you can look at this the way I do: as a $50.00 Fish Blender.

Catalog Page [IWantOneOfThose via shinyshiny]
Also: Underwater Tank [RedFerretJournal]

Okla. Man Shoves Head Through Fish Tank
(AP)

Okla. Man Shoves Head Through Fish Tank
(AP) 07/13/2004 08:41 PM
AP - When residents of an Edmond neighborhood saw a bloodied man stumbling down the street, they thought he had been hit by a car, police said. Instead, Derrick Simpson had apparently intentionally crashed his head through a fish aquarium, according to police spokeswoman Glynda Chu.

Shark Tank: Just stand here and hold this for a few hours

The following phrases have been identified by the grok system as matching this entry: building tank stand fish great white shark digestive system