More Crap From Dvorak

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Crap Service for Crap Hound

Crap Service for Crap Hound 08/12/2004 09:14 AM
Dotster has its wicked way with Cory Doctorow. Any more horror stories involving them, or is he just unlucky?

I think, therefore I Dvorak

I think, therefore I Dvorak 09/04/2004 03:58 PM
While my capacity as a journalist on Spymac.com can certainly be questioned, I am, in real life, an editor at a fairly well-respected daily newspaper in Rhode Island. Since I signed on to this online gig, I’ve done my best to walk the fine line between fact and opinion, while still providing the faithful readers of this site with a fresh thought or a different perspective (or at least something to rile against on Sunday morning). The Internet is a place where everyone can have an opinion, but once one reaches the capacity of paid correspondent, there are certain rules that need to be followed. Granted, they are less strict than print journalism, but — even when writing pure commentary — a certain degree of fact should be printed somewhere therein, lest the piece joins the ranks of the juvenile, all-too-common posts that litter the Web. The Internet is a valuable resource, but all is not to be trusted. That being said, when I surf to CBS MarketWatch, I expect to receive one of two things: an intelligent piece of news, or a well-presented opinion that puts something into an original, thoughtful perspective. What I don’t expect to read is an unadulterated bashing of a product with little regard for any integrity whatsoever. While I’ve never been a fan of John C. Dvorak’s work, his weekly columns rarely present much more than a slightly-skewed take on a hot tech topic. It’s clear that he’s no Mac fan, but I’ve often been able to see his side of things and, while I usually disagree, I can give him him benefit of the doubt. Not this time, though. From Phil Schiller to the iMac, the silhouette ads to Spotlight, everything that came out of the keynote yesterday is summarily slammed by Dvorak, and for no good reason other than a deadline. It seems as though this article was conceived weeks ago, and whatever came out of yesterday’s presentation would have somehow crammed itself into its frame, much like the way he describes the iMac’s design: <I>The architecture is risky. First of all, they jammed the entire computer into the screen, making the idea of changing "monitors" or screens impractical.</I> Yeah, because I’m always switching screens on my Cinema Display. <I>Apple seems to have lost track of time… the design is hardly inspirational. In fact, if you put two headlamps on it and a metal sun visor over its "windshield," it would be reminiscent of a 1954 DeSoto.</I> Let’s be <A HREF=”http://www.desoto.org/modules/ContentExpress/img_repository/1954 desoto.jpg">serious</A>. <I>Observers on the Net are seeing this design as a precursor to an Apple notepad computer. To date, the notepad revolution, as predicted by Bill Gates, has been as successful as Blue Pepsi.</I> Is it really fair to tell someone what they’re thinking and then poke fun at them for thinking it? <I>The machine comes in one old-fashioned color: 1988 platinum white… This unit is so white that when you visit the Apple Web site, you can barely see the computer as it disappears into the background of the site itself.</I> Oh, so that’s why they had to use that blue background… <I>Schiller spent a lot of time bragging about Apple's 59 percent market share in the MP3 player market. Is this something to be proud of? Where does this market head? Almost anything with a small amount of memory can be turned into an MP3 player nowadays; you just need a headphone jack.</I> And he goes on like this, until he ultimately concludes that the iMac will ruin Apple. Granted, we tech writers are entitled to our opinions, and in the battle between Macs and Wintel boxes, the lines are drawn fairly deep. Try as we may, we tech writers can’t hide our true feelings, but we do have an obligation of some sort to at least <I>try</I> to be objective. Well, compared to Mr. Dvorac anyway, I should win a Pulitzer.

even dvorak liked nextfest

even dvorak liked nextfest 05/18/2004 12:05 PM
congrats to the wired team for putting on an event that actually gets people excited

Other News: Dvorak

Other News: Dvorak 09/02/2004 10:30 AM
"Pricey and faddish"? That's what John Dvorak calls the new iMac.

Dvorak: I'm smoking crack

Dvorak: I'm smoking crack 03/21/2003 01:36 PM
Apple to switch to Intel processors, at least according to John Dvorak in a brief article over at PC Magazine. No mention in the article of the massive amount of effort required to re-write every piece of mac-compatible software for x86 architecture, or the unlikeliness of developers to be willing to do so having just optimized for OSX, but then, this piece seems to be mostly just bold, unsupported predictions.

dvorak revels in misanthropy

dvorak revels in misanthropy 04/20/2004 02:00 PM
The World's Best Troll uses his hatred of humans to justify demonizing chat

dvorak dumps on socsoft

dvorak dumps on socsoft 02/16/2004 05:30 PM
his complaints are getting within a few weeks of being timely these days... he must be reading blogs

Dvorak Channels Markoff

Dvorak Channels Markoff 01/05/2005 03:11 AM
ZDNet Jan 5 2005 6:32AM GMT

Dvorak: Apple will go Intel in 12-18
months

Dvorak: Apple will go Intel in 12-18
months 03/20/2003 09:37 AM
PC Magazine's John Dvorak is predicting that Apple will switch to Intel processors within the next 12 to 18 months...

Notes and Tips: Dvorak Thoughts

Notes and Tips: Dvorak Thoughts 01/05/2005 02:00 PM
Readers offer a few final thoughts about "shock jock" John and his slimy statistics.

Dvorak: Apple will go Intel within 18
months

Dvorak: Apple will go Intel within 18
months 03/20/2003 08:33 AM

Ten Worst Laptops of All Time According
to Dvorak

Ten Worst Laptops of All Time According
to Dvorak 08/03/2004 02:32 PM

Dvorak gets all bloggy about the '10 Worst Laptops of All Time,' asking for readers to chime in with more information about the products he thinks he might of once seen (if he could only remember the name or model number). And for as fuzzy as his memory is about which product he's actually talking about is, he sure does remember when Salon magazine made fun of him five years ago just fine. Article highlight: Saying that the Number One Worst Laptop "could also easily appear on the ten-best list." Wouldn't that make it, I dunno, more like a Number Five, or maybe Number One Thousand?

Read - Bottom Ten List: Worst of the Laptops [PCMag]

dvorak on history's worst laptops

dvorak on history's worst laptops 08/03/2004 11:01 AM
i remember some of these stinkers

Dvorak international keyboard layout for
xkb 1.1

Dvorak international keyboard layout for
xkb 1.1 07/09/2004 04:43 PM
A Dvorak international keyboard layout for use with the xkb keyboard mapper.

Newton II in January? Dvorak thinks
so...

Newton II in January? Dvorak thinks
so... 11/10/2003 10:59 PM
In an article on PC Magazine's Web site, John C...

Dvorak: iMac G5 'reminiscent of 1954
DeSoto'

Dvorak: iMac G5 'reminiscent of 1954
DeSoto' 09/02/2004 05:55 PM
After taking several jabs at Phil Schiller, Apple's senior vice president for worldwide product marketing, John C...

Dvorak: New Commentary betrays aging
vision

Dvorak: New Commentary betrays aging
vision 09/02/2004 11:16 PM
You can always depend on John C. Dvorak to miss the point. His latest anti-Apple tirade begins with unwarranted attacks on Philip Schiller, moves on to display impatience with the keynote time spent lauding the iPod and finishes up with uninspired criticisms of the new iMac.

"The machine comes in one old-fashioned color: 1988 platinum white," he whines.

"[The design is] hardly jazzy or interesting," he complains.

It all sounds more like the grumbling of that angry old man that used to shoo my friends and I off his lawn when I was younger and not the insightful writings of a technology commentator.

Dvorak Claims Disruptive Technologies
Don't Exist

Dvorak Claims Disruptive Technologies
Don't Exist 08/02/2004 04:42 AM
John C. Dvorak seems to exist solely to show just how little he understands about technology and business these days. His latest piece points to a few bad examples of what might be disruptive technologies and then claims there's simply no such thing as a disruptive technology, as described by Clayton Christensen. It appears Dvorak has never actually read Christensen's books, but assumes he knows what they're about after hearing Christensen say the idea of disruptive technologies came to him while watching how DEC failed. Maybe the problem is that, like others before him, Dvorak misreads "disruptive" and assumes there needs to be a "big bang" (he mentions the atom bomb as being disruptive), when the truth is "disruptive technologies" are really "straig ht, boring technologies. In the meantime, I'd suggest that Dvorak take a look at VoIP and camera phones, but it appears he's already trashed camera phones for not being good enough (the first sign of someone who doesn't understand disruptive technologies) and while he seems to like VoIP and admit that it's the "future of telephony," it never occurs to him that it's disruptive.

Understanding and Reading a Blog -- John
C. Dvorak

Understanding and Reading a Blog -- John
C. Dvorak 12/22/2004 01:06 AM
Understanding and Reading a Blog (for Newcomers) .. John Dvorak has your answers .. How to read a weblog

dvorak.org/blog/primer/blogprimer1.htm
track this site | 3 links

Dvorak predicts Apple will move to Intel

Dvorak predicts Apple will move to Intel 03/20/2003 03:15 PM
Self-proclaimed Apple "expert" John Dvorak, who loves to predict Apple's death every few months, now predicts that Apple will switch to Intel within 18 months. At least he isn't predicting Apple's death, for a change.

dvorak rambling about circus horses and
bill gates

dvorak rambling about circus horses and
bill gates 01/16/2004 11:26 AM
i like when john sounds like a guy mumbling to himself in the corner. nobody bullshits better.

Dvorak out of ideas, phones-in another
''Macs are doomed'' article

Dvorak out of ideas, phones-in another
''Macs are doomed'' article 12/28/2004 02:46 PM
I really shouldn't post news about Dvorak articles, it just encourages him. But this latest one is so devoid of anything original or insightful that instead of giving evidence to the eminent demise of the Mac platform it adds more credence to the idea that Dvorak's journalistic career is what is actually on the downward spiral. The article has all the usual Dvorakisms: the Mac market is declining no matter what you've heard, Macs are too expensive, all the things we think are helping the platform (Steve Jobs, Mac fans, iPods, and Mac OS X) are actually killing it in by some twisted reasoning. He is simply running out of new ways to point out how Macs are undesirable while still finding the need to strengthen his own persona as a Mac basher.

[Links from this story may be found on MacMerc.com. Click the title to delve deeper.]

Dvorak on large hard drives and the
future of the media center PC

Dvorak on large hard drives and the
future of the media center PC 11/19/2003 01:41 AM
Curmudgeonly PC Magazine columnist John Dvorak wonders, with hard drive capacities doubling every year, whether all PCs might eventually have to become Media Center PCs just so we'll have something (i.e. recorded TV shows) to fill up their massive hard drives with. He is, of course, not particularly pleased by the prospect of this. Read...

Dvorak foresees a helpless Mac community
in the face of a spyware attack

Dvorak foresees a helpless Mac community
in the face of a spyware attack 12/24/2004 12:31 PM
In a recent online PC Magazine article "Panic Over Spyware" by everyone's favorite curmudgeon, John C. Dvorak, the purposes and implications of spyware are explored. On the final page of the story, Mr. Dvorak writes, "The national media pay little attention to the problem, and many mainstream media tech writers are Mac users, so they don't get it. Who knows what will happen when the Mac community gets hit? They feel immune, and are for now. But when they get hit, there will be few resources to help them, since the antispyware community is busy with all the PC-related problems." I have a hard time disagreeing with the predicted outcome of John C's "what if?" scenario: we probably aren't prepared because we have yet to truly be challenged. But is a spyware attack on the Mac platform even likely? Comment below.

[Links from this story may be found on MacMerc.com. Click the title to delve deeper.]

IE is crap

IE is crap 06/24/2005 10:03 PM
KatjaW pointed out that my blog looks like crap on IE these days (both side bars are missing). Well, it does work pretty well on every other browser I've tried (don't use Windows at all at home, so I can't be bothered to check on IE whenever I change the template, and Mac IE is braindead when it comes to CSS most of the time anyway), so frankly, I'm tempted to leave it as-is for IE users. Or maybe just disable the difficult bits, and leave a very plain experience for IE users. According to my statistics, less than half (41% to be exact) of my readers use IE anyway...

Maybe I can be bothered to do something about it someday. Tips appreciated.

Update 24.06: Tweaked the CSS a bit and added some explicit "display:block;" -commands to some places, which seemed to required on IE (boo hiss). It still looks a bit crappy (and the window is too wide), but now at least you can see all the content.

With crap like this

With crap like this 04/02/2005 02:14 AM
Google Ride Finder .. RideFinder

labs.google.com/ridefinder
track this site | 3 links

Tomcat Crap

Tomcat Crap 06/24/2004 05:51 PM

Urgh.  I just spent a few hours trying to figure out why JNDI JavaMail session stopped working.  Previously, I had Tomcat 5.0.26 beta installed and it was working just fine.  In an attempt to debug another problem, I peddled back to 5.0.25, which is the latest version without any beta tag, and found that I couldn't send e-mail out from an webapp.  Error message was rather bland so it took me a while to find the relevant bug report.  Guess what?  5.0.25 build left out some key classes related to JNDI JavaMail session support.  Heck, I think I'll go back to the beta version and keep my fingers crossed.

Because if its not Scottish, its CRAP!

Because if its not Scottish, its CRAP! 09/22/2004 02:56 PM
Utilikilts: Comfort, Style and Utility for Today's Modern Man - committed to pioneering a comfortable alternative to trousers by producing "Men's Unbifurcated Garments".
I can't decide if its a joke or not. I think it began as a joke and then people started ordering them. Note the trendy Surviv al Kilt (currently on backorder) or the stranger looking than the others and that's saying something Denim Kilt. And don't worry about the beer gut, fellas, they've got an option for a special cut just for you ($25 upcharge but comfort knows no price!).

ReMove CRAP

ReMove CRAP 07/11/2004 08:06 PM
Initial file release

Too much crap over the phone

Too much crap over the phone 03/14/2005 05:04 PM
I just got the same push-poll that jenniebee did: A push-poll kind of group, calling themselves "Dove" called me this morning, wanting to screen me to see if I wanted to be inundated with calls from an outfit called "Feature...

Free Crap

Free Crap 02/01/2005 09:39 PM
I'm honored to be included in The Silicon Valley 100, a group of influentials formed by Auren Hoffman that gets free crap.  Its kind of like schwag for a virtual tradeshow with a decentralized  cocktail party.    Newsweek has a...

Oh holy crap...

Oh holy crap... 03/12/2003 10:16 PM
MacFixIt - Camino nightly builds may not be as stable “We’re seeing lots of feedback from people that are surprised the current Camino nightly builds aren’t as stable as the ones leading up to the 0.7 milestone. This is to...

Why IRC is crap, yet useless

Why IRC is crap, yet useless 06/07/2004 05:57 AM
After several (well, since 1989 anyway) years of experience on IRC, I still probably can count the useful hours I've spent there using one hand only. (Then again, I can count in binary.)

But the reason why IRC is interesting is that it functions as a collective subconscious. On some channels certain things pop up constantly, even though nobody really cares about them. For example, on #go.fi people talk about EGF rating points. These have no significance for any player whatsoever, unless you are a very strong. But they are a slightly-better-than-randomized way of evaluating performance. So everybody has some interest. On #joiito, most of the discussion is completely incomprehensible, yet those people feel a strange connection, and gather together at conventions.

IRC is like a common subconscious, where thoughts come and go, tucking in different directions, yet never converging. Most of the discussion on any channel is bullshit. Pure and honest crap. Nothing but the equivalent of waving your lips in the wind in the faint hope a meaningful sentence will appear, if you keep producing syllables just long enough.

But it's common crap. That crap which binds us together, and builds communities. Some people have this odd notion that "social activity" is the same as sitting in a pub, drinking beer and talking horseshit. Fine. The important thing is "crap".

All of social software is mostly about crap. This is what the CSCW folks never realized - they thought it was important to increase productivity and get more achieved through computer-assisted work. The social software phenomenon (weblogs, Orkut, LinkedIn, IRC, chats, bulletin boards, ...) is built on the notion that people wish to talk crap. They enable you to use your time idly, do nothing, because conscious thoughts (and the inevitable good ideas) rise from the subconscious soup of crap. I think that's why Wikis haven't really flown is that they are not that good places for crap: the community deletes anything that is not considered to be in line of the other contents of the wiki. They don't allow the subconscious simmer of thought in the same way as IRC. It remains to be seen how much crap will surface on Orkut or Friendster, and whether that amount is enough to allow them to survive. (I've noticed I don't use Orkut anymore, even though I am listed. There's just so little point.)

The Finnish IRC service IRC-galleria, is really a place for IRC regulars to post their picture and have comments appended to it. However, there are now many young people, who put their pictures on the IRC gallery, and then "go ircing" on it - meaning posting comments on other peoples pages on the IRC gallery, creating large amounts of anger among those who know what IRC really is. I think this is a wonderful example of "crap in action" - if you build a way for people to discuss, they will come.

The societies are built on crap. The internet is built on crap.

Crap is good. Keep talking bullshit, and while the world may not be better, at least it will be a far more interesting place. :-D

Holy Crap

Holy Crap 07/29/2004 09:58 PM

So I just got an email from my friend Jessamyn, who might be on tonight's Daily Show, and I guess she somehow got Ed Helms to do this:

Like I said, holy crap.

Like crap, falling from the sky

Like crap, falling from the sky 01/11/2004 07:04 PM
Well, it's officially happened. Someone wrote an automated comment spammer for Movable Type. As I type this, I'm watching repeated netstat show port 80 connections, and seeing the "MT-Blacklist comment denial" messages show up in the log. (36 so far) After 37 of the damn things actually made it through (some while I was in the midst of de-spamming things). Whups, make that 40 of the damn things. A few more just slipped through. And even more on the logs, and I'm not going to bother counting. (Okay, I did. 70 were blocked, 38 made it through (I mis-counted) in...

Comments on Bomb Crap

Comments on Bomb Crap 05/03/2004 09:42 AM
Advanced methods of bomb detection and investigation. New equipment developed to scan cars and people, such as a parking lot device which quickly bathes the car's trunk in invisible neutrons, a procedure that makes materials inside the trunk emit gamma-rays that would indicate the presence of explosives. Also, a bomb disposal robot which take[s] fingerprints before blowing [a] package up.

Kickin' the Crap Out of Karaoke

Kickin' the Crap Out of Karaoke 08/17/2004 01:37 AM

Direct and Related Links for 'Kickin’ the Crap Out of Karaoke'

“By typing in a text of any kind you can get it sung for you by some of the world’s great-est pop stars. A database of sung words has been built up and is supposed to be gradually growing through the users’ own interaction. If you find a word missing in our sound vocabulary, just tell us, and we will extract the word from a song of your choice, and add it to our database….

Cut The Crap Software 2004-04-28

Cut The Crap Software 2004-04-28 04/28/2004 08:56 AM
Java packages implementing a generic persistence model.

Cut The Crap Software 2003-10-30

Cut The Crap Software 2003-10-30 10/31/2003 12:49 PM
Java packages implementing a generic persistence model.
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