Turd Ferguson

Turd Ferguson 09/08/2004 09:12 AM

« One of several art installations around Helsinki for the Helsinki Arts Festival entitled, "The Wailing Wall". The walls were filled with empty film canisters that people were invited to fill with notes written on day-glow coloured papers. It reminded me of the old lite-brites where you'd make a design with coloured pegs although the new models for kids these days seem too molded and modern when compared to the original low-tech box with a bulb inside of it. »

One of the three lists I remain subscribed to and lurk on is the American Dialect Society mailing list digest which has a very high signal:noise ratio and often has something of interest or amusement. One of the most entertaining posters is Barry Popik whose atom feed of word etymologies and ephemera is excellent. He's an administrative law judge of parking violations in NYC by day and the modern mad professor for the OED the rest of the time, particularly for food words. He's also an editor for the upcoming drool-worthy Encycl opedia of Food and Drink in America from OUP. Today's digest had a particularly fun list of college slang from Barry who I presume was looking for "Turd Ferguson" and found an article about a book on college slang. I had to giggle since I know the phrase and I know it's not a food. :) I'm not sure which is more disturbing; that I've actually used Turd Ferguson in a sentence or finding it in a book title. I think it's mostly a mid-westernism, but slang gets around and it's hard to say for sure. Turd Ferguson & the Sausage Party: An Uncensored Guide to College Slang looks like a pretty hilarious book and a way to make my English a little more fresh and hip. I mean, I've not heard or said Turd Ferguson in years! Pure nostalgia. There is a short list of some of the words from the book.

• Bar Scar: All the wristbands and ink left over after making the rounds at the bars.
• Cash Cow: An ATM.
• Greek Freak: A new pledge who is super-absorbed in sorority/fraternity goings-on.
• Hallcest: The dangerous act of getting with someone on your hall.
• Hitting the Snooze Bar: To continue to hook up with someone even though you should really break up. Prolonging the inevitable.
• Kelvin Club: The rare feat of having a GPA that equals absolute zero.
• Liquid Encouragement: Refers to how alcohol can help you be able to talk or attempt to talk to anyone.
• Osmosis: A method of study employed by crammers who fall asleep with their heads on their books. Not very reliable.
• Party Foul: An incident that goes against the rules of the party. For example, spilling your glass of red wine on the Dean's white carpet during an elegant mixer or mistaking the coat closet for a bathroom.
• Pizza Bones: The uneaten crust of a pizza. Often scavenged by cheap friends like Barry down the hall.
• Sausage Party: A gathering of many more men than women.
• Sexiled: When someone is forced to sleep outside his/her room when his/her roomate wants to have sex in the room.
• Tomb of the Dead Soldiers: A trashcan filled with many, many beer cans.
• Turd Ferguson: A social sore who decides things like exposing oneself in public or driving drunk are good ideas.
• Vitamin N: Short for vitamin nicotine. Refers to having a cigarette first thing in the morning.
• Vurp: When you burp but some vomit comes up, too. A very nasty experience.

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