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China Races to Reverse Falling Grain Production







China Races to Reverse Falling Grain
Production

China Races to Reverse Falling Grain
Production
05/01/2004 09:29 PM

Alarmed by declining grain production, China wants farmers to grow more, on less land, to avoid dependence on the United States.




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 Power Tool Drag Races
Ace Auto International Speedway, San Francisco
5/11/2003

 

THE POWER TOOL DRAG RACES-- SATURDAY and SUNDAY, JUNE 12th and 13th

Blown Big-Block Belt Sanders . . . Nitro Burning Funny-Saws . . .  Wheel Standin' Weed Wackers. . . it's

Racing . . . Racing . . . Racing . . . Saturday. . .(AND). . .Sunday . . . Sunday . . . Sunday. . .

at the . . . Junkyard . . . Junkyard . . . Junkyard . . . 

Saturday and Sunday, June 12th and 13th, Chopped Chainsaws and Non-Normally Aspirated Angle Grinders will go head-to-head down 75 feet of two-lane blacktop at The Shipyard International Speedway (aka Ace Junkyard).  From Super Stock off-the-shelf machines, to full-tilt multi-motor Top Fuel moooooonnnstrosities, it will be capacitor blowing, carbide tooth shrapnel mayhem brought to you by, well, *you*- the finest redneck fabricators (a.k.a. machine "artists") in the Bay Area.  Participants and spectators alike will thrill to the speed and smells as Black and Decker, Porter Cable, DeWALT and Milwaukee battle it out for supremacy, dubious claims to glory, lots of cold hard cash, and yet another turn-the-key-and-drive-it-away EDSEL for the fastest run of the day (also known heretofore as "The Edsel Cup").

So join Dr. Hal Robbins, Chicken John and John Hell as they engage us for an afternoon of semi-benign alcohol fueled abuse with all the local aristocracy including: Flash-O-Matic on the V-8 Blender, the triumphant return of the Sean Kelly's Trashy Trailer Massage and Wellness Center, Justin Incredible's Miracle Wax(ing) Booth, and a special Synchronized Welding and Pole Dance Intermission Extravaganza by the Happyland Drill Team Cheerleaders! Music, hot dogs, cotton candy, posters, T-shirts, promo booths, special games for the kids, Seth Maxwell Malice, and much much more yet to be figured out will make it a day of family fun not to be missed . . .

If confused, see what happened last year at: htt p://laughingsquid.org/pix/2003_05/power_tool_drag_races/

 WHAT'S NEW THIS YEAR:

This year we have TWO new racing classes and ONE fabulous TV contract with the Discovery Channel and Natural History New Zealand so come out for a day (actually two days) at the races and be the media WHORE that Deep Down you KNOW you are! 

All fun aside, kids, this year we've hit the Big Time (or something appearing to approximate it).  The above will be filming the event this year to create 4 one-hour pilot programs to be aired on the Discovery Channel next fall/winter as part of Discovery's ever expanding offerings in the "idiot American fabricators build stupid things" subgenre of the reality TV genre.  The production company behind this is a nice group of folk from New Zealand and not a sleezy LA porn outfit, as one would likely expect for the event in question.  We appear to have a reasonable contract and nice collaborative relationship with them that will retain our full control of the event (so all of us do not end up embarrassed for the rest of our lives) and allow us to continue doing whatever we want at the event (but with no guarantees about what will have to get edited out for family TV).  For more details on how all this will work, we think, see www.qbox.org.

The Production Company is already here in the Bay Area and about to start shooting all of you that are interested while you build your crazed engineering monstrosities and tell lies about your lives. They want about 10 people/teams to follow in great detail as they build their machines over the next two months.  Those interested in being on the list of potential featured contestants should tell Charlie and Jim, or better yet, Simone (simone@qbox.org) very very soon.

 RACING CLASSES: (for full rules, see: http://www.qbox.org/ptrules.s html)

As usual, there will be classes for both machines that run "riderless" in wood tracks, and customs which their maker(s) "ride" down open asphalt lanes.  This year we have added two new classes ("Unusual Designs" and "Sex Toys") and consolidated the Ridden Classes into a single class as no one seems to want to build double person ridden machines.  This year we promise to have not one, but two "designated organizers" who stay cognizant enough to keep track of all this (Smone and Lera) and hold chaos at bay until all races are fairly and squarely run.  And we have expanded the event to two days so we are sure to actually finally really make it through the double elimination rounds (for the first time) as well as give the film crew one day where they can be more invasive to get the shots they need (Saturday), whereas Sunday will be the regular plate of mayhem and the film crew will have to fend for themselves.

THE PURSE(S)

Each class will pay back 100% of entry fees for that class, plus some extra money we'll throw in, so we can pay down to third place in each class this year.  It will take around 15 entries per class on average to create a $500 purse for 1st place.

Special Mystery Prizes, awarded by special mystery judges for:

Most impressive engineering

Most pathetic engineering

Most dangerous machine

Most spectacular crash

Machine most likely to get its maker laid And . . .

Machine most likely to get the most air time on TV

And of course, the rotating "Edsel Cup" for the fastest top speed run of the day.  Current track record is held by none other than Jim Mason, artist, with his CO2 fire extinguisher rocket car, which last year crossed the finish line at 64MPH, covering the 75 foot track in 1.7 seconds.  Go faster and drive the Edsel home yourself.

 ENTRY FEE(S):

The entry fees are as follows until May 15th.  After May 15th, the entry fees will go up, just like Burning Man.  To reduce chaos, and embarrassing disorganization, we will NOT be accepting entries the day of the races.  Entry fee for racing is paid via Paypal only at www.paypal.com to account simone@qbox.org

Super Stock: $30

Sex Toys: $30

Modified: $35

Funny Car: $40

Unusual Designs / Top Fuel: $45

We have set the entry fee above $0 so we can have real purses for the winners.  What is a drag race without a good purse anyway?

Each racing team will get 2 free entries to the event for both days.  Additional tickets will be available at the regular door price of $10 for Saturday, $15 for Sunday.  Regular gate entries for spectating can be purchased at the gate the day of the races.

For more information, see www.qbox.org. All inquiries, questions and complaints should be directed to Simone at simone@qbox.org.

 Brought to you by the fine folks at The Shipyard and Qbox

www.theshipyard.org

www.qbox.org


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Grok Description matches for China Races to Reverse Falling Grain Production
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China Races to Reverse Falling Grain Production

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